Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
I did the right thing. I ate it. I told her it was fine. She got mad, she knew differently and that means I lied to her. The boys told her it was good. Their lies were bigger. It really was OK. Other than the salty weird textured turkey, the salty gravy, the too brown, brown and serve rolls and the cold (should of been hot) green bean casserole. The corn, smashed taters, carrots, and scrimps were great.
Lets not forget dessert. The peach pie was wonderful and I hear the apple was good too. Jen likes pumpkin, the crust was like chewy glue. She just couldn't win. An angry Jen is not a good Jen. Luckily the Christmas tree is going up today. That makes Jen happy. A happy Jen IS a good thing.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
1. That at least once a year Jen knows her role. She cooks and I watch football between naps.
2. All the girls I've loved before.
3. The price of gas has gone down.
4. The little briefs moments of silence between my kids arguments.
5. That it's still a little while before the devil is sworn in as President.
6. I'm not a Detroit Lion fan.
7. For Jell-O
8. For Jen fetching me a Jell-O
9. For spoons
10. For my right hand.
11. That I still have some teeth.
12. For mirrors. (I need to look at me)
13. For tater smashers. (Jens arms would really hurt if she had to smash taters with a fork)
14. For Sonics cherry lime aide.
15. For all the things I can think of for this list.
16. That NoMoPoHo is almost over.
17. For Vicodine (almost forgot)
18. For naps.
19. That some of y'all comment. (the rest of y'all need to work on that)
20. That this is the end of this list.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there that didn't vote for Obama. A very special Happy Thanksgiving to those that actually voted for me. And to those that voted for Obama. Thanks for bringing about the end of the world.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Vic Mackey is a lousy cop. Which means he's a cop. They're all lousy, except for Jack. Jack is the ONLY clean cop I know. Not that I know a lot of cops. But I would venture from the headlines that there's not a lot of clean cops.Vic is as corrupt as a guy can get. That's actually one of the things I like about him and one of the things I can't stand about him. Cops should be clean. They're held at a higher standard and they should live up to it. Vic Mackey however is as dirty as............. something really dirty. He deals drugs. He beats up prisoners. He forces confessions. He kills other cops. Every bad thing he does is done to clean up the streets, sort of. He believes he does it to make the world a better place and I'm sure some of it does make the world better. But you can't justify killing cops. Killing the cop happened early on in the series, he did it for self preservation. I can almost understand that. I can't condone it but I can understand it. In fact I think that's the only really bad thing he did.
I like Vic Mackey. He was my fuckin' hero. Or he was until he sold out Ronnie on the last episode. He got to carry a gun and do whatever he wanted to do. It's a damn shame he dies tonight. I don't know if he really dies or the series just dies. I just hope they don't have the fade to black Sopranos end. I'm hoping for the everybody shoots everybody else Reservoir Dogs ending. One thing I hope happens is Vic gets Shane. I hope he kills that redneck idiot. This series wouldn't be ending if Shane wasn't such a fuck up.
There are a few others I would like to see 86'd on tonights episode.
Claudette (I can't stand this holier than thou bitch)
Aceveda (He sucks dick then has the guy with the dick killed, but hates Vic. Hypocrite)
Dutch (Serial killer in the making, also likes Vic's sloppy seconds, needs killing)
Corrine Mackey (Vic's wife. Turned on him. Bitch ain't no good.)
Mara Sewell- Vendrell (Shane's cunt wife. Total waste of oxygen)
Fuck why not kill them all. They could set off a nuclear bomb that Jack Bauer didn't find.
The show starts in 10 minutes so I'll probably know how it ended before anybody reads this. If you're nice and leave a comment maybe I'll tell you how Vic survives.
Shane killed his wife (Mara) and kid before blowing his own head off. (I called this 2 weeks ago)
Aceveda is going to be elected mayor.
Dutch killed a 16 year old serial killers mom and blamed it on the 16 year old.
Corrine went into witness protection to hide from Vic.
Ronnie was arrested and will be sent to prison.
Claudette has lupus and will die the slow painful death she deserves.
Vic got his immunity deal and will sit behind a desk for three years, basically he's in his own version of hell.
It was one of the worst endings I have ever seen. What a fucking disappointment.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Just kidding. Here's what I told him.
Green salad with ranch dressing
The biggest Kobe rib eye steak available - medium/medium rare
Prime rib - medium/medium rare
Asparagus smothered in butter
Biscuits and gravy
Two eggs over medium
Black Forest cake
Bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream
A cup of coffee with Carnation Irish Cream creamer
A class of Borden Dutch chocolate milk
and wash it all down with a gallon or two of sweet iced tea.
After all that, if you can lift my fat ass, stand me up in front of the firing squad and pull the trigger.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Keep On Keeping On.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I know they left out part of the interview. I happened to get my hands on it. So here we go.
2008's Sexiest Man Alive sat down with PEOPLE's Elizabeth Leonard and Julie Jordan to reveal his deepest secret.
EL & JJ: What was the first thing you did when you found out you were named sexiest man alive?
Hugh Jackman: I looked in the mirror and couldn't see what they saw. I couldn't believe they had picked me. Do they not know The Trashman? That's who they should have picked. He's far better looking, has more talent and is a much nicer guy than me. I mean if there ever was a sexiest man alive, then it's definitely The Trashman. Even Brad Pitt wishes he were that pretty.
Maybe he's smarter than I thought.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I had the laughing gas. They need to get it checked. I think it went bad. I never laughed.
My teeth are bad due to past drug use, I guess I should have listened to momma. One good thing about the dentist is I got a BIG bottle of vicodin. They're even extra strength. I figure if I work the dosage just right, in 30 days I could be a full fledged junkie. There is another option though. Which reminds me. Does anyone know the street value of vicodin?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Biff has attacked me in my comments. He first used the name Michael when I posted this. He started using the name Andrew with this post. I don't have a problem being attacked. The problem I have is Biff attacked my wife and children.
Biff seems confused. He referred to me as "right-wing Christo-fascist racist, homophobic trash". Lets break that down, right-wing meaning I lean towards the conservative side of life. That would be wrong, conservative I ain't. I do believe in The Constitution and owning guns and all that shit but conservative, never. Christo-fascist. Well since he capitalized Christo it seems like he maybe a Christian himself. Racist. We all are to an extent. Homophobic. This one is laughable since in a later comment he made remarks that perhaps I was engaging in homosexual acts with my sons (only a truly sick person could come up with something like that) it seems like he may have problems with the queers. I am one of their biggest supporters when it comes to gay marriage. Which would also prove I'm not right-wing nor Christo-fascist nor homophobic. The only part he got right was racist trash and I'm not really that racist. I don't dislike skin color. I just dislike behavior and most of the people that behave a certain way all happen to have the same skin color. Now that we have established that Biff doesn't know what he's talking about lets discuss why he chose to attack me and more importantly my family.
I believe Biff has attacked my family because he is jealous. Perhaps Biff wants to be like me. Maybe Biff has no family and never will. I'm not going to say he's to ugly to find a mate because I've never seen him. I know he's an angry person so maybe that's why he'll never procreate. Maybe he pushes everyone away with his anger.
I know he has said some really foul things about Jen and the boys. Three innocent people. Why attack the innocent, Biff? Why? Couldn't you just direct your anger at me personally? Is it because you know what you say about me is ineffective? So instead you attack innocents? Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel like a big man? Do you puff your chest out and say "I'm a tough guy"? Well Biff, are you a tough guy?
Maybe you attack me because I'm a high school drop out and you're a college dude and yet I have more talent in my pathetic little dick than you could ever hope to have coursing through your veins.
Have you ever been anywhere or done anything, Biff? Or have you just always lived with Mommy and Daddy? Is that it Biff? Are you to scared to leave the nest? Are you afraid to try things so you sit behind your computer and read about other peoples lives and pass judgement on them?
You attack people that don't agree with you politically. Seems like that would make you a rabid liberal. You are so happy to conform to what the liberals want, you're ready to sell your soul to the government. Anything so that Big Brother will take care of you. So they will keep you safe. So they will control your life. So you don't have to make any decisions. So you can sit in front of that monitor and live a false life and anyone that doesn't conform to you ways must be "right-wing Christo-fascist racist, homophobic trash". Are you angry because I don't conform Biff, angry because I believe in free speech?
I do believe in free speech because I could block your IP. I could delete your comments. I'm just going to let you keep on commenting, because of free speech and every time you attack my family you prove how ignorant you are. Every time you attack my family you show the world what true Obama supporters are like. Pathetic, scared, cowardly little people.
The whole problem Biff, is that I track you. I know when and what you're reading. I know you've never read my archives. So you don't really understand. I've had two contracts on me, yet I'm still here. See Biff, you're pissing off the wrong guy. Say what you want about me, it's like water off a ducks back but talk shit about my wife and kids. Well that's like poking a sleeping grizzly with a stick. Don't wake the grizzly Biff.
This is an invite to Biff. Email me firstname.lastname@example.org . Do you have the balls Biff? Are you going to continue to hide? Step out into the light Biff. The truth shall set you free.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
November the 5th was the day after Obama won the election. Obama was a state senator in Illinois. Things that make you say hmmmmm.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
This was done with my tongue and teeth. You will notice no real damage to the cherry stem once I tied the knot. That's right I tied that knot with just teeth and tongue. I am the motherfuckin' master. Since I like to hear myself talk (after all I am fuckin' funny) I can keep my lips and jaw moving for hours and my tongue too. I can provide testimonials if need be. Ladies the line forms at my front door. Be sure you bring your checkbook.
I don't want to hear a damn thing about picture quality. I was rushed.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Now the dilemma. Bids are rolling in again. My partner is WAY behind on all his bills and really needs this. Unfortunately he's bidding the jobs so low there is no way we're not going to win most of them. I've tried telling him several times I want out. I've tried being real nice about it. I even told him today I was done. No ifs ands or buts about it. I'm done. His response "It's all I've got. What time do we have to start that tile job tomorrow?" I can't go back to doing this shit. I'm better off working at Blockbuster. Hell, I would even make more money once you figure out the hourly rate of the pay I made working for myself. He can't sell the jobs. He hates people and it shows. I can because I'm a master at this shit, but I want the fuck out. I don't ever want to see another tool again. Unless I'm just piddle fucking around with something I want to do for myself.. In fact I want all the tools out of my garage so I can set up a gym for my oldest child. I might even get in there myself and try to get back into shape (for you ladies of course).
Jen has told me time after time she just wants me healthy and happy again. If I'm working in this job I will never be either. She wants me out also. My partner has always been there to help me when I needed it. What the fuck do I do? On one hand I owe him and on the other is my health, sanity and family.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Remember comments. Even if it's a big "Fuck you Trashman".
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Also. I better start seeing more comments.
Sorry I didn't have anything better tonight. You try doing this shit every day.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Yes I realize it's Veterans Day. Thanks to ALL the veterans, including me.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Obama on the other hand is a different story. It amazes me how fast the Russians threatened us, they even accused us of destroying the worlds economy. The fucking Arabs did that with the oil prices then the speculators didn't help with the futures market. North Korea wants a sit down. All the different terrorist organizations are willing to deal with him as long as he shows them the proper respect. Obama is going to kiss some muslim ass.
President Bush would have told them all to lump it. Yep, it would have been his way or the highway. Which it should be. We ARE the last of the super powers.
Obama's going to pull out the troops and cut military spending. Then he's going to bow to the will of everybody out there that wants to pull his chain. America is dead and gone. It's just a matter of time.
Let me know when y'all are ready for me to take over.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Anyway today's subject. Racism. We're ALL affected with it. Me, you, everybody. White, black, brown, red, yellow, stripped, it doesn't matter. Everybody is a fucking racist. Even me, believe it or not. And I'm going to prove it.
You have two neighborhoods. They are identical in every way. Same income levels. Same crime stats. Same houses. Same stores. Same parks. Same trees. Same lawns. Same cars. Same everyfuckingthing. They are mirror images of one another. They both have one empty house. These houses are for sale for the same price. They both have the same floor plan because they're identical. Here's the kicker. One of these neighborhoods is all white and one is all black. Which one are you going to move into?
Answer honestly. If you're black and you say the white neighborhood or you're white and you say the black neighborhood you're a lying mother fucker. Whites will move to the white hood and blacks will move to the black hood. And that my friends is racism. I don't want to hear any of your liberal psycho-babble about people being natural drawn to people like them. Bullshit. Black people move to the black hood because they don't trust or like the white man. White people move to the white hood because even though they're identical, the property values are higher in the white hood.
As for me. I don't want to live in either place. I'm moving to an island with a bunch of sex starved Victoria's Secret models.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
He ain't my president. Y'all elected him. Y'all deal with him. When the world goes to shit and you need saving, you need to tell me I was right first.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Instead tonight I want to talk about my favorite subject. Me. As most of you know I have diabetes. Due to this I piss a lot. In fact I told the boys one day that my life was one big piss with little breaks between. Lots of things make me piss. For instance the phone. If it rings I gotta go. Anybody that calls me knows this. When I pull into my driveway, I gotta go. If I raise my right hand, I gotta go. That one usually causes problems since I hold my dick with my right hand. This is however not what I wanted to talk about, it's just a little info that needed to be told to understand the rest of the story.
There's a medicine cabinet right above my toilet. This cabinet has a mirror on the door. So since I spend so much time pissing this means I spend a lot of time looking at myself. After all the hundreds of hours of looking at myself, I have come to a conclusion and that is.
I am one pretty mother fucker.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Now the important part. When she sees Obama on TV she tells me that there's something wrong with him. She says he's EVIL. I believe her. I believe her because she doesn't say things like that about anybody. So you stupid fucks are about to vote the devil into the most powerful office in the world. So be ready to be branded with the sign. As far as me, I ain't going down without a fight. Y'all yell "All hail satan". I'll be living in the woods.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
So today we threw her a little party. We sang and had cake. You can't tell by the picture (she never smiled much) but she had a good time. That's her in the party hat. Doesn't she look like she's having fun. I had to blow out the candle for her.
I'm doing the NoMoBloHo thing again this year so I'll post every fucking day. Show some love. I'll be watching y'all.