Yodeling In The Valley

OK. Y'all are getting this story because I get most my readers at noon on Monday. This happened a couple of weeks ago.

I was standing at the counter (lookin' good as usual) when a black girl approached with her items. She set them down and I proceeded to ring them up. In the following conversation she will be referred to as BC (black chick).

BC: "Damn. You have a nice moustache."
Trash: "Thanks."
BC: "No. I mean it's really nice. Like all perfect and shit."
Trash: "Yeah. Well I have a lot of practice maintaining it."
BC: "It's like not to thick here or too thin here and it's the same length on both sides. It's really nice."
Trash: "Yeah. OK. Thanks again."
BC: "I bet you can save a lot of flavor in that moustache."
Trash: " What?"
BC: "You know. When you eat pussy. I bet you saves lots of flavor."
Trash: "Huh?"
BC: " I'd be like a kid on a new bike with that thing. You couldn't get me off of it."
Trash: "HA HA HA."
BC: "No really. In fact you wouldn't be eatin' my pussy. My pussy would be eatin, your face. You ever eat a black girl's pussy?"
Trash: "No."
BC: "You want to?"
Trash: "Well as intrigued as I am, I'll have to decline. I'm married."
BC: "She would find out too. You would probably drown in my pussy."
Trash: "Your total is $14.72"
BC: "Here you go baby. Tell you what. You ever gets divorced and you wanna try some black pussy. You just ask for Sheprecia."
Trash: "OK. You have a good evening."
BC: "You too baby and don't shave that thing off it's beautiful."

Keep on eating at the Y.

3rd Shift

Yep. I'm working again tonight. I'm being used. The reason they keep sticking me on this shift is because of my bad assedness. On Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays we get the lowest of life forms in the middle of the shift. There's a night club down the street from us that gets a big crowd on those nights. After the club closes and they get tired of pepper spraying and robbing each other in that parking lot, they come and visit us.

Skanky black women, fat white women. 350 pound women on 4 inch stiletto heels. Thugs and wanna be gangsters dressed in red wearing their pants around their ankles. All smelling of cocoa butter and weed. They come in and steal the condoms (thank God they're not reproducing) and candy bars. They ask for grape "rillos" and wood tip wine "blacks". They complain about the prices and leave the change (I'm supposed to be thankful for the 17 cents they just gave Stop-and-Rob). Nothing but disrespect. They cut in line. They trash the bathrooms. They fill up the parking lot, all playing different rap tunes as loud as they can. They are fucking animals. Rob thought he had it hard with the "guidos". He should see this shit.

Slowly things are being changed. They're starting to act a little more human. It's all because of me. I don't take shit. I don't give shit. I'm not in the shit business. That's simply how I roll. Who knew I could train animals? I'll be lucky if I don't get shot tonight.

Keep on keeping on.

I Am The King

Trashman - 2
Computer Virus's - 0

That's right I am the Mother Fucker of all mother fuckers. I am a god among mere mortals. I am a legend in my own mind. I am the shit. I am the cream in the corn. I am the corn in the turds. I am the frosting on the fuckin' cake. I am unfuckingstoppable. And I did it all by myfuckingself with no help from anyone. Now I have to go take a nap, I work 3rd shift tonight.

I would like to thank my brother for attempting to help me. He tried. I'll give him that.

New Virus

I'm fighting a new virus called Internet Security 2010. It showed up at 9:00 am this morning. I should have it beat by tomorrow afternoon. I do believe if someone ever tells me they are a hacker or they write virus's or anything like that I'll just shoot them between the eyes.

Until then....

More Shit

I'm working third shift tonight, so I'll be at work during my regular blogging hours. In fact I'm getting ready for work now. That means this is pretty much all you're going to get.

I did watch a movie today it was called Hide. Not bad. Not good. Decent time killer. I did fall in lust with the female star though. I'm not sure if I've seen her in anything else. but it was probably more her character than her. She looks good in the movie but she had a whole psychotic white trash thing going on. Rachel Miner makes my weenie wiggle. I'll give it 3 trash cans out of 5 simply because of her.

Keep on wondering about me being assaulted by the homeless homo.

Shit

I almost forgot to post.

Jen

She loves me but not as much as I love me.

Keep on lovin' me.