Easy Money?

OK I was screaming for more comments and some of y'all suggested that I write more stories from my past. Here you go.

I was driving one of the "escorts" around one night form call to call, when some pervert called in looking for a dominatrix. We didn't have one so I asked Suzy if she could do it. She was half Thai, half white with long dark hair and looked like a real bitch. She only took a little convincing. She finally agreed once she found out she was probably going to get to hit the dude.

We got the address and headed for the house. Once we got there she was starting to back out but I wasn't leaving without the money. Trying to back out is not unusual for these girls. They try it on most calls. You have to usually talk them into it and psych them up a little bit. Each girl is different. You just have to figure out what makes them tick. We had one you had to tell her how pretty she was (repeatedly). I had a couple you had to yell at. With Suzy it was easy. The words "You need to feed your baby" usually did the trick. But it wasn't working this time.

Suzy: "I can't do this."
Trash: "Sure you can."
Suzy: "I can't hit anyone."
Trash: "You need to feed your baby."
Suzy: "Not that bad I don't."
Trash: "Well I need to feed mine. So get your ass in there."
Suzy: "I can't. I can't be a bitch."
Trash: "Listen you got the look. All you need is the attitude."
Suzy: "Ho do I get the attitude?"
Trash: "You know that mother fucker in prison that you keep sending money to? Your baby's daddy."
Suzy: "He ain't no mother fucker."
Trash: "Every time he gets new shoes from you or money on his books, he's telling all them other mother fuckers, that he's got a ho back on the block supporting his ass."
Suzy: "No he ain't."
Trash: "Yes he is. And he shows them your picture and tells all about how you suck a great dick and about the one time you let him fuck you in the ass."
Suzy: "How'd you know about that?"
Trash: "He must of told me too."
Suzy: "That MOTHER FUCKER."
Trash: "Good. Now take all that anger, go inside and beat this piece of shit."
Suzy: "Time to feed my baby."

Suzy got out of the car, marched up the steps and banged on the door. When the guy opened up, she put her hand on his chest and shoved him back in. His eyes lit up like Christmas bulbs. I settled back in my seat, checked my watch and lit up a cigarette. No less than 15 minutes later she comes running out of the house and jumps in the car.

Suzy: "Get me the fuck out of here.
Trash: "You didn't rob him did you?"
Suzy: "No."
Trash: "Kill him?"
Suzy: "No."
Trash: "Is he laying in there dying?"
Suzy: "NO."
Trash: "Then what's the fucking problem?"
Suzy: "He's a fucking weirdo."
Trash: "No shit. That's why he likes to be spanked."
Suzy: "You just don't get it."
Trash: "Then splain it to me Lucy."
Suzy: "My name is Suzy not Lucy."
Trash: "Old TV show. You're too young. Just tell me what the problem is."
Suzy: "Everything started out fine. I slapped him a couple of times. Called him a few names. Made him get on his knees and spanked his ass with a belt. Evey thing was cool. Then he pulls out a gym bag and reaches in it and comes out with a ping pong paddle with nails stuck though it."
Trash: "What the fuck?"
Suzy: "There's more. He had surgical tube with sewing needles stuck through it. He had a belt with staples all over it. I told him I was done before he pulled anything else out. He started screaming he wanted his money back."
Trash: "You still got the money, right?"
Suzy: "Fuck yeah. Anyway I offered to blow him, fuck him, what ever he wanted I just wasn't hitting him with any of that shit."
Trash: "And?"
Suzy: "And he said he didn't want sex. He just wanted his ass kicked for an hour."
Trash: "Go back in."
Suzy: "No fucking way."
Trash: "Listen. Go back in and tell him for an extra $500 your driver will kick the living shit out of him for an hour."
Suzy: "You're kidding."
Trash: "I'm fucking serious. You can be MY driver. I'll even give you the driving fee."
Suzy: "I'll be right back."

Suzy got out of the car and walked back up the sidewalk. She knocked on the door and the guy let her back in. She was in there for about three minutes and she came out and walked back to the car. She just stood there looking at me. Finally I said "Well?" and she held up $750 dollars and she says "He wants an hour and a half."

I kicked his ass.

NaBloPoMo Number 4

So far today I got nuthin. Jen's a little sore from the accident.

You people aint supporting us NaBloPoMo types very well. We need comments and lots of them. Zelda, Angi, and Tammy are suffering through this nightmare also. Show'em some love. Visit, read and comment. Just do it. Do it. I like to think we do this for your enjoyment. So give a little back. Dammit.

Keep On Keeping On.
26 more to go.

Crawling From The Wreckage

Looks like someone's in a bit of a panic. Here's a little info about the Trashman. He does what he says he's gonna do (unless he says he'll stop by before he leaves town. Sorry Jack.). I said I would do 30 days, then by all that is holy I'll do 30 days. I will admit that I was wondering what I would blog about today. But then Jen came through with a subject for me. Today's blog is brought to you by the only mexican in Texas with auto insurance.

Jen called me today and said some dirty things but that's a whole different post. What I want to talk about is she told me she got rear ended. Now if you're like me some dirty thoughts ran through your mind, but then I realized she meant she had been in a car accident. She was less than a mile from the house, so I grabbed T3 and rushed right down. The first thing I see is a mexican girl limping around. This may sound racist, but it's honest. I thought "Oh fuck, I guess I'm paying for this one".

I jumped out of the truck, snapped some pictures (I'll post those in another post, I have to milk this thing) checked out Jen's truck, made sure she was OK, made sure Trash Jr was OK. I had to ask him at least four times if his neck hurt before he got it right.

I found out the mexican girl had insurance. I will now refer to her as a hispanic american. The cop that investigated the accident knows Jen so he looked over the fact her license is from another state. I swear he was a surprised as I was the mex.... uh.... hispanic american girl had insurance (full coverage no less)

The damage on Jens truck is minimal and the hispanic american girls car is totaled. I guess that's what happens when you try to drive an Altima up the tail pipe of a Ford pick-em-up truck. Once again American steel shuts down a Japanese POS. Jen and Trash Jr are fine. I made sure the cop would remember me (they always do) and I got blog material. So I guess all is right with the world.

Now if only I knew a chiropractor.

Dog; The Phony Bounty Hunter

He got enough rope and the dip shit finally hung himself. I've watched this asshole on TV say his prayers right before going to catch some "bad guy" and then run around screaming mother fucker and calling the bail jumper any number of foul names. Then once the "bad guy' is cuffed, Dog is all about "I know where your at Bro. I've been there" bla bla bla bullshit.

Dog was sentenced to five years for murder. He served less than two and a half. He was a member of some motorcycle gang. You gotta wonder if he sold them out for a lesser sentence.

His fat ass wife refers to him as "Big Daddy". The man is 5'7". He wears special made cowboy boots that make him 5'11". Seems that "Big Daddy" ain't so big after all. Let's not forget his mullet. It's not even real, you can see the weave line.

Now on to catching criminals. Every time they locate a guy it's his sons Leland and Dwayne Lee and his brother Tim doing all the dirty work. They chase the guys down. They tackle them. They put the cuffs on them. Then "Big Daddy" steps up and says "You can't get away from THE DOG". OOHHHH scary stuff.

He turned his own son into the police for drugs. He's admitted this on his show. Now the boy is out of prison, and turn about is fair play. His son recorded "Big Daddy" saying ni**er (I'm using asterisks because Jen asked me to, I don't have a problem writing the word, especially if somebody else said it)no less than six times. Then he sold the tape to the National Enquirer. Way to go "Big Daddy". Good job of turning your own kid against you.

His size is fake. His hair is fake. His bounty hunting is fake. Everything about him is fake. Except his racism. That's as real as it gets. I don't care if he's a racist or not but I do think he should own that shit. He should be real about something.

I've listened to the recording. Dog Chapman is an asshole. here's a guy that claims to be all about God and forgiveness. I guess that doesn't count if you're black. I counted six ni**ers, one mother fucker, one fucked, five fuckings, two fucks and one god damn. Pretty bad coming from such a stand up, praying, god fearing kind of guy.

The best thing about this, is I'll probably never have to watch that show again. I know I could always change the channel, but it's kind of like when I watch COPS. It gives me something to raise hell about.

That's two. 28 more to go.
Keep On Keeping On.
And you fuckers better start leaving some comments.

NaBloPoMo Number 1

Well here it is the first day of NaBloPoMo. I'm not sure I've got 29 more of these in me. Hopefully this will be the only boring one.

I've been swinging a sledge hammer all day and I just don't have the energy to write anything, plus I could really use a shower (there's a little something for the ladies to think about).

Today is my moms birthday. The old broad is 80. She doesn't look a day over 120 and has the memory of a toddler. But she lives by herself, which puts her in a better spot than most of us.

Keep On Keeping On.

Whole Lotta Nuthin

NaBloPoMo
I signed myself up for this. So I guess you'll be seeing a lot more of me. Not that there's more of me to see. In fact there's less. Still dropping the ounces. It sucks. I wanted to be the biggest president ever.

Halloween
Go back and read these stories. Annie's Road. Danny O'Death. Dead Chicks. Sorry no new ghost stories.

Officer Jack
Saw him two weekends ago. He's still wearing dresses. He gave me a piece of history. I'll be forever grateful. Owe him an apology for not stopping by before I left town. Shit happens when you're riding with somebody else.

Grounded For Life
Went to see mom. Had to repair her VCR. Took a while but I'm a fucking genius. We sat at the kitchen table shooting the shit.

Trash: "You know granny, my life is real god damn hard."
Granny: "How's that?"
Trash: "Well I wouldn't expect YOU to understand. But when you're as pretty as I am, you get too much attention from the ladies."
Granny: "I'll bet you do."
Trash: "I do."
Granny: "There's none prettier than you son."
Trash: "I know. I mean it's tough. For instance, you know that Texaco in that little town half way between here and there?"
Granny: "Yep."
Trash: "There's a hot little red head with great jubblies that works there. I was getting a bottle of water and she couldn't keep her eyes off me. I felt like she was undressing me with her eyes, violated if you will."
Granny: "You poor thing. That must have been horrible."
Trash: "It was."
Trash Jr: "That didn't happen."
Trash: "You were in the car, what do you know?"
Trash Jr: "I know you're crazy."
Trash: "Hey T3 back me up on this."
T3: "What dad?"
Trash: "Was that red head with the great jubblies looking at me like I was a steak?"
T3: "Yeah dad. They all do. You're a big ol' steak and they're vegetarians."
Trash: "You're grounded."

Twice The Man I Thought I Was
I went to my new Dr. We'll call him Dr. B. He ordered a new testosterone test. He says the test Dr. A gave me wasn't really for testosterone. Seems the testosterone level is highest at 8am. Which explains a lot. He asked me a few questions about hard ons and how often I think about sex. My answers were no problem and all the time. Then he played with my balls. I said "Now I have a hard on problem." Dr. B says I don't have a testosterone problem except I may have too much. Which also explains a lot. Like baldness (too manly for my hair). My sex drive (can't get enough, ever). My thought patterns (sex, sex, sex, football, sex, sex, sex, work, sex sex, sex....). Also why women throw themselves at me, I must be putting some kind of pheromone out there. It can't be just because I'm pretty.

Response

Once again some fool has shot up his school and then turned his gun on himself. The only plus to that is he saved the tax payers a bunch of money. Nightmare wrote an interesting blog about one of the attempted killers friends reaction. This post is more of a reaction to Nightmares post than a statement on the school shooting, although I will touch on the shooting just a bit.

One thing Nightmare says is parenting IS like it used to be. Sorry dude but I call bullshit on that one. Parenting is a lot harder now days just for the simple fact that you can't beat (spank) your kids anymore. If you do some one is calling DYFS or CPS or whatever liberal children's watchdog group you have in your area. Hell they might even bypass the do gooders and call the police right away, file a complaint and have you arrested on the spot. Don't tell me this doesn't happen. I once had to step in as a witness in a grocery store because a woman called the cops and reported a couple for abuse. Their only crime was telling their child no when she asked for something. The nosey bitch figured since they told the child no and the child threw a fit, then that must be abuse.

Let's not forget the schools. Children are taught from day one that they can report their parents for abuse if mommy and daddy just look at them cross eyed.

Another problem with this particular young man is the fact even though the article didn't say it. I'm pretty sure daddy wasn't anywhere around. The cops had been to his house in the past for a domestic dispute, he evidently slapped his mother and called her a vulgar name. If I tried that shit my dad would have put me in a comma. I'd still be in it too. Plus if daddy had been around the kid probably would have learned to shoot a little straighter.

Back to preventive maintenance also known as corporal punishment. When I was a kid and I fucked up I got my ass beat by whatever neighbor caught me. Once I even got my ass whipped by the cop that caught me. Then I was taken home and got my ass beat by my mom. She told dad about my fuck up of the day when he got home and I got my ass beat again. I usually got at least two ass beatings for my transgressions. Children are much like dogs. They learn through pain association. Fuck up plus get beat equals I won't do that again. Simple math. Used to be the school could beat your ass too. I had a really rough year in 8th grade (my uncle was the principal). I'm not sure this young man would have benefited from an ass whipping, but it certainly couldn't have hurt.

I will agree that this was a piss poor case of parenting. But when daddy's gone and mommy is too small to hand out proper discipline and her hands are tied by the do gooders, then you need to blame more than just the parenting. Hilary Clinton said a long time ago that it takes a whole village to raise a child. Sometimes the village needs to turn their backs and let the kid take the ass whipping he needs.

I agree with Nightmare about people spoiling their children. My kids get nothing for free. If they want something they work. They work for me, demo (can't nobody wreck shit like my kids can), pulling nails, hanging drywall, painting trim any number of construction type things. They're better at it than most grown men. I'm proud of my boys but from time to time they have to be reminded on how to behave (I ain't admitting nothing).

Now on to the shooting. Supposedly when Asa Coon walked out of the bathroom he bumped into Michael Peek. Michael Peek punched Coon in the face and walked away. So Coon shot him. Seems like Coon isn't the only one that need a few lessons on how to treat people. I'm betting the next time somebody bumps into Mr. Peek he thinks twice before punching them in the face. I'm not saying Peek should have been shot but he needed something and in this case it just happened to be a bullet.

I could ramble on and on about this but I wouldn't want to bore you. The facts are this kid was one messed up individual and now he's not. I don't know if any of this could have been prevented but I do know it is harder to raise kids now days.

This is just my opinion. I could be wrong but I'm not.