Off With My Head

Nightmare has an interesting post up about the Confederate flag. While I regularly read him and usually agree with him. This is the second time I don't. Go read his post. In it he describes people that fly the rebel flag as uneducated, ignorant, racist, traitors. My problem is not with that, see as an American citizen he is entitled to his opinion. My problem is with the word treason. He says it is treason to fly the rebel flag. I say that's incorrect. It's freedom of speech. He refers to people that fly the rebel flag as "those fucking slack assed southern cocksuckers". HMMMM I don't remember sucking any cock, nope no nasty taste in my mouth. I don't fly the flag per say but I do own several different items with the flag represented on them.

My question is why can't I have some Southern Pride. Is it not OK for people of color to have Black Pride? Or Hispanics and their Latin Pride? I'm from the South and I'm proud of it. I would pick living in the South over living in the North any day. Does that make me racist? I think not. I've already admitted to being a bigot (definition: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices). Doesn't have a thing to do with skin color.

First things first. The Civil War was more about states rights. Yeah I know the right to own slaves was their biggest gripe, but mostly they didn't want the federal government dictating to them how to handle their business. Much like most people of this day and age. Secondly, this country was started by a bunch of traitors. Our founding fathers committed treason the minute they spoke out against English rule. Anytime a group wants to change the way government is run it is by definition, treason. Thirdly not all southerners were "slave mongers" as Nightmare so eloquently put it. I guess if you stand up against the system to fight for something you truly believe in no matter how fucked up it is, then you're a traitor. There's lots of things I stand up for that other people don't agree with. Other Americans no less. I guess they better get a rope and hang my no good ass.


One question I have is, since flying the Rebel flag is treasonous does that mean that on Puerto Rican day in NYC when everybody is waving Puerto Rican flags they're being treasonous also. Or how about Cinco de Mayo and the Mexican flag, is that treasonous? What about all the reservations and the Native Americans with their flags. Treason? When Reebok sneakers had the Union Jack on them was it treason to wear them? When Danielsan wore the Rising Sun on his bandanna in honor of Mr. Miyagi was that also treason. I assume that any flag other than the American flag with a state flag under it is treason. If that's the case this country is full of fucking traitors.

Keep On Keeping On.

It IS All About Me

I don't know who mmmarg is but she is one smart individual. She commented on the post where I offered the Trash Juice. She gets it. It's all about world domination. You see even though I wont be paying for or raising these children, I will maintain a psychic control over them. I will build a super army of white (and probably some half-white) trash soldiers.

Now to the other comments. Yvonne thinks I'm a funny mother fucker. Looks like I got another reader with a high IQ. mmmmarg thinks I'm too cheap, that's part of the secret. Quantity. She also wants to know how I'll keep up with the demand. Baby there's plenty of Trash Juice for everybody. Christina is worried about half siblings meeting and falling love, I call that purification. Khaki wants to know where I was with this offer a few years ago. Well I say it's never too late for multiple children. Jenn says I'm not charging enough. HA, less money, more children and since I'm gonna yank my crank on a daily basis anyway, I might as well do it all over the country. Plus I'm counting on all those women that like a little old fashioned baby makin. Nightmare. That was some funny shit. I enjoy a good insult even when they're aimed at me. Charmed has enough kids plus I couldn't in fair conscience steal her from her husband. I like him. Mo wants me really, really, really bad. Seth, not a problem, my vine only swings in one direction. Kristin, you're right I am a genius. Zelda, I just wanna know how you knew about my love for Long John Silvers. Jammie J, I think there should be a Trash 400,000 running around. Hope I didn't miss anybody and I also want to thank all those that stopped by and wished me a recovery. It's Charmed's #2 sons birthday send him some love. Do it now dammit.

New Subject

My wife says I'm an ego-maniac and that I'm narcissistic. Actual she doesn't use those words, I just wanted to let y'all know how smart I am. What she says is that I really like to talk about myself. I just don't see it. I talk about other things. For Instance I just very recently wrote a post about my son T3. I know I've written about other things also. For instance I'VE given MY opinion on many subjects.

Sometimes she reads my stuff and sometimes she avoids the anger (hers not mine). It seems sometimes she doesn't like what I write. I'm cool with that. I'm gonna write it anyway. Cause around here it's MY way or the highway. That's right there's two ways to do things around here. My way and the right way and they're both the same. She knows who the MAN is around here. But she doesn't know all there is to know about the MAN. Nobody does, not even my momma knows who the Trashman really is (and lets keep it that way). But I figure I could let my readers know a little about me, it's not that I'm really into myself or anything. It's just that I'm funny and entertaining and charming and real fuckin pretty too. I mean what more could y'all ask for? So this time in the comments tell me how y'all really feel about me. I know I would if I weren't so humble.

Anonymous #2. Keep on keeping on.

NaBloPoMo Number 14: The You're Lucky To Be Getting This Much From Me Post

Part of whatever the fuck is wrong with me (physically not mentally) is from time to time I'll have a day where I just feel completely like poo poo. Today is one of those days. I'm exhausted and feel like any minute I'm going to keel over. So this is today's post. I'm taking tomorrow off work so I'll have something better then, plus I would like to address some of the comments from the last post. Until then.

Keep on keeping on.

A Little Bit Of Me

While cutting drywall today I cut off a big chunk of my finger. I never could find it. So you'll have to bear with me. Since I'm typing slow you'll just have to read slow. Typing with two fingers is bad enough, you should try typing with one. We bandaged my finger with napkins and vet wrap (it's what was in the truck), when I got home and peeled it off I started bleeding again, everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. So I jumped in the shower and went through the torture of cleaning myself up while trying not to get too much soap on the wound because it stings a little. Afterwards I stood in the shower while Jen dressed the wound. The tub looked like the shower scene from Psycho. I'm still trying to figure out how Jen maintained herself since I was nekkid. Anyway she sprayed Nu-Skin on the area of the wound, it stung just a little. I responded with "FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK. FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK." What can I say the area was a little tender. But I did manage to come up with tonight's subject. It involves me. nekkid and fuck.

I got to thinking, there are a lot of childless women out there. Some are childless because they just haven't met Mr. Right yet and others because Mr. Right just can't get the job done. What ever the reason I am offering my services. I don't need or want to know the reason but if you are childless and you're wanting a baby just email me at trashman64@gmail.com. Now there will be a fee. Not much of one but a fee none the less. The cost will be different for each case. I provide the juice you do the work. It breaks down like this.

One shot deal: Airfare, meals, turkey baster.
Two shot deal: Airfare, meals, turkey baster and $50.00
Guaranteed pregnancy: Airfare, meals, turkey baster and I get to name the child.
There will be a contract which absolves me from all child support. I provide the ingredients you do the baking. It's your cake, you pay for it.

Now I realize once you ladies get a look at me you'll want to handle things the old fashioned way, for that you'll have to work out some sort of monetary arrangement with Jen. I will tell you this much, there is an ugly fee. You know who you are so don't act suprised.

Keep on keeping on.

I Can't Take It Anymore

I don't talk about my youngest (T3) much. He's so quite I usually forget he's here. Nothing like the rest of us (especially Jen). He's a straight A student, captain of the safety patrol, usually on Student Council, and this year he made the Who's Who of Academic Excellence. I have never been called to the school because of him and I'm pretty sure I never will be. However and there is always a however, he does have a little redneck white trash blood in him.

The kid LOVES rasslin (wrestling for you educated types). It comes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday is reruns and Sunday is pay per views. The reason I know this is Wednesday nights is the only time he comes out of his room (usually to talk about rasslin). If he's not watching rasslin then he's playing a rasslin game on PS2. I've even seen him switch back and forth from his show to playing the game during commercials. He has enough rasslin action figures (they're not fucking dolls) to have a Royal Rumble. He wants me to build a ring to scale for his action figures (they're not fucking dolls). The kid eats, breathes and shits rasslin. I don't know how he manages to get his homework done and maintain his grade average. I swear if you were to cut his head open a bunch of little wrestlers would come running out.

The worst part is driving him to school every morning. I'm trapped in the truck with him for 20 minutes or so. It goes something like this.

T3: "Dad?"
Trash (already knows what's coming): "What?"
T3: " How come Jim Duggans name is Hacksaw, yet he carries a 2X4?"
Trash: "I don't know?"
T3: "Who's your favorite wrestler?"
Trash: "Same as yesterday. Stone Cold."
T3: "Who's your second favorite?"
Trash: "Same as yesterday. Dusty Rhodes."
T3: "What was his finishing move?"
Trash: "He didn't have one."
T3: "Who was Road Dog Jesse James?"
Trash: "Half of The New Age Outlaws."
T3: " Who are they?"
Trash: "A tag team from a long time ago."
T3: "Where are they now?"
Trash: "I don't know."
T3: "Will they ever be back?"
Trash: "I don't know."
T3: "Can Rey Mysterio really beat the Great Khali?"
Trash: "No."
T3: "Then how did he do it at the last pay per view?"
Trash: "It's all part of the show."
T3: "Who picks the winners?"
Trash: "Probably Vince. I'm not sure."
T3: "How does he decide?"
Trash (crying): "For the love of God. Please stop, no more rasslin. You're fucking killing me."
T3: "Oh. OK. I'm sorry."
Trash: "Thank you son."
T3: "Dad?"
Trash: "What son?"
T3: "Can I ask you one more rasslin question?"

I swear just as soon as he gets a little older, I'm gonna put the stunner on him.

Cranial Rectal Disorder

To the employees of McDonald's I would like to say. Pull your head out of your ass. Oh wait let me say it so you can understand. Saque la cabeza de su asno. I am sick and tired of going through the drive through and getting my order just to have to park and go inside. Where I'll ask for the manager. Like this "Is the manager-o here-o? El jefe? Does anybody speak english here? English, el speak-o english?"

Every time I go to McDonald's I have to deal with broken english at the drive up speaker. Then I pull around to pay and the english is worse. When I finally get to the window to pick up my order the fucking english is gone. What I want to know is, when my order is taken and the idiot pushes the button with a picture of what I want on it, does that then get sent to the next idiot in spanish or english? Hell, is the picture in spanish? And if it is sent in spanish how come there's no fucking sausage and cheese on my biscuit? I ordered the fucking la salchicha, galleta de huevo y queso. So where's the fucking salchicha y queso. Pendejo.

Used to be a mother fucker had to speak english to get a job. Not anymore. Because our spoiled little children think they're too good to work, let alone in the fast food industry. So they have to hire every Tomas, Ricardo y Harold that comes through the door. Come on people put your kids back to work, I want a fucking decent meal. Why should ordering my meal be harder than my work. Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us. Well here's a fucking special order. I order you to put someone at the drive through that can speak fucking english.

Back when I was a kid Mickey D's was full of asshole teenagers, but these asshole teenagers could speak english. It was a beautiful thing.

Keep on keeping on or should I say mantenga a mantener en.

As Good As I Once Was

I got in from working my ass off all day and what do I find? One lousy comment. Now I have three, one of which is mine. So I got to wondering is it me? Did I lose it? Was I gone to long? Do I suck now? Well I looked back at some of my old stuff. You know what? The new stuff is as good as the old stuff. It must be y'all. Y'all must suck. I AM A ROCKSTAR. An unappreciated rockstar but still a rockstar. If you're not taking this fucking NaBloPoMo challenge or never have then you have no idea how hard it is. So start showing some love. Leave some comments. I check the tracker, I know you're there. Say something damn it. Even if it is a big, FUCK YOU TRASHMAN. I'm cool with that'

Keep on keeping on.