Happy Birthday

On this date in 1964, three not so wise men (Larry, Moe, and Curly) arrived in a small Texas town. They stopped at a service station to inquire as to the location of the hospital. When  the attendant, Bubba Joe asked if someone was sick or hurt. Moe replied "No, we were following that yonder star." Bubba Joe asked "You mean the really bright one in the north?" Moe said " YOU IDIOT. That one over yonder in the west." Curly added in " You see tonight a baby was born and we must find this baby to bring him gifts." "Yes." Larry said, "This is a special baby and we have special things for him." Bubba Joe said " Let me get this right. Three dudes following a star bringing gifts for a baby. So this must be the second coming of Christ." "Not at all." Moe said " Christ was the son of God. This baby is an asshole." Curly said " You see, all assholes must have certain things. We bring these things for this child. I bring a bad attitude and Moe brings conceit and Larry brings opinions, lots and lots of opinions. In fact he brings an opinion for everything and we will deliver these gifts so that this child has the ability to be the best asshole he can be." With that they climbed back into their 1959 Edsel Villager station wagon and finished their journey. These not so wise men arrived at the hospital and bestowed upon the child the gifts of bad attitude, conceit, and opinionation. The child was cursed.
 
This my story and in future post I will tell you more of it. I make no apologies for the things that I have done or probably will do. I have no regrets because if I had not lived the life I did I would not be the wonderful person I am today. I have lived on both sides of the law. I have had regular jobs and not so regular jobs. Although I've never done a bank job. I have had to leave town because of the police and also because of the good guys. I am going to change the names to protect the guilty (yes, they are guilty). I have been coast to coast and border to border in this great nation of ours. I've done it all and I've seen it all. Now I'm going to tell you all about it. Maybe someone will learn from this. I may ramble from time to time, I make no claim at being a writer, I just find my life to be interesting.
 
Forty years later I have a wife, I love with every ounce of my being and two of the most wonderful children you could ever hope to lay eyes on. My wife has stayed with me for 11 years through all my bullshit and ignorance. My children bring me untold happiness. I don't tell them or show them enough how much I love them.
 
Now tell me Happy Birthday and leave me alone. I'm going to spend time with my family.