Thursday, September 29, 2005

I'm Back, Pukin' Relish

As y'all know by now, Jen and I met Zelda and Jethro for lunch last Saturday. After hanging with Jack for 20 years it was refreshing to have an intelligent conversation with someone. They are amazing people and their kids were fantastic. I don't think I've ever seen two better behaved kids. I'd like to know how they get their kids to be so good. I use fear myself.

They're the first bloggers I've ever met (Jack doesn't count, of course that's nothing new). I can't wait to hang out with them again. We talked for five hours. Five hours of puke filled conversation. The subject changed several times but it always came back to puke. I couldn't have been happier. We had to leave way to early to suit me, Jen and I had to go to my bosses wife's birthday party. I would have rather stayed at The Broken Spoke. I felt like I had known them all my life and I wasn't ready for the party to end. But like all good things, etc. etc. etc.

I would suggest that if you get a chance to meet them. Do it. You'll never meet a finer pair and Jethro ain't bad either (Sorry had to throw in some breast humor). I'm sure there's a lot more I could say about them, but I'm running on empty right now. I've worked 14 hour day's all week and I probably won't get a day off until next weekend. I won't bore you with that though.

Instead I'm giving you three choices for my next post. Y'all know how this works. Most votes wins.

1. Barred From Caesars Palace For Life
2. Dead Chick In The Van
3. The Truth About Gas Prices (This one could get me killed)

Let your conscience guide you or vote number three if you want me dead.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


WARNING: Severe craziness ahead. I've lost my mind.

Okay I've tried to remain silent, but that all ends now. I thought I would hurt my chances at the presidency, then I realized I don't stand a chance of the country coming to their senses and electing me, so I might as well say any fucking thing I want to.

Welcome to The Trashman's Neighborhood. The word of the day is sympathy. You'll find it in the dictionary between Shit and syphilis. If you New Orleans "refugees" want some, look it up cause you're not getting it from me. You had three days warning before the big bitch hit and you sat on your fat lazy welfare receiving asses and did nothing. You could have walked to safety in three days. Now you're laying around the Astrodome and the Austin Civic Center whining about "When do I get my FEMA card?" I haven't heard any whining from Mississippi or Alabama or any other place in Louisiana, just New Orleans. I know the bleeding heart hippy liberals are trying to blame George Bush for the hurricane and the lack of government response. Fact is, it all falls on the local government, that's right the local politicians of one of the most corrupt cities in the world. To think otherwise is pure hippy stupidity (don't get me wrong,, I'm not trying to offend anyone, wait a minute, yes I am).

It seems to me that the liberals have destroyed the basic things that made this country great in the first place. God, guns, guts and glory. This great nation was founded by a group of people trying to escape religious persecution. They believed in God, not allah, or budda or any other heathen deity. Therefore God had a very important role in the founding of America. Liberals have taken God out of our schools. Guns. Our founding fathers used guns to fight for and protect our way of life. Daily the liberals try to force through guns laws that will take away our right to defend ourselves. Guts. It took a lot guts for the settlers to explore uncharted territory and battle the Indians (I can say Indian because I'm part redskin)and the elements and to stand up for what they believed in. Liberals are gutless. Glory. The word itself says it all, that and I can't think of a way to describe it. Liberals are gutless therefore they will never know glory. Another thing the liberals have done is try their damnedest to turn America into a communist country. They do this through welfare. I work. You work. 80% of the citizens of New Orleans don't work and we just give them money. Liberalism at its finest.

I've read hundreds of blogs and news articles and watched all the news reports about New Orleans. Yes, it was a tragedy. Yes, it was catastrophic. Yes, it was dismal. Yes, it was a lot of things, but the thing it was not, was unexpected. You had time to get out. You didn't. Fuck you. Compassion is in the dictionary between cock(as in suck my) and crap (as in what the liberal media is feeding us). Hate me if you want, I don't give a rats ass.

More liberal bullshit. My baby boy (T3) can't hand out birthday invitations in his class unless he gives everybody one. God forbid Little Bertha feels left out. I got news for you Little Bertha. You're not little, your name is Bertha, you're 160 pounds in the 3rd grade. Nobody wants you at their party.

Which leads me to Hollywood. The movie people have become so politically correct that now when you watch a movie involving cheerleaders there's always a fat cheerleader. Don't get me wrong, I prefer my women healthy, but when I'm watching gyrating teenage girls on TV I don't want it ruined by some fat chick with a better moustache than me in a short skirt. Another example of this PC bullshit run amok is the remake of The Bad News Bears. They have a kid on the team in a wheelchair. I'm not saying the paraplegic can't do anything they want. But I will say they can't run bases, even in a souped up wheelchair. Let's not hurt anyone's self esteem.

More liberal stupidity. Some bitch is trying to outlaw dodgeball. It seems that the first kid to get thrown out of the game is in jeopardy of being traumatized for the rest of his life, because he's not good enough. Guess what, that's life. We're not all good at everything. Kids in wheelchair can't play baseball. Fat chicks shouldn't be cheerleaders. Some kids suck at dodgeball. I have my own limitations, I can't see my dick without a mirror. Do I sound like my delicate psyche is hurt. It ain't.

I'm not Caucasian, I'm white, I don't say African American, I say black. Native American, nope. Injun. Latin American. Wrong. Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, or whatever you are. French, never, just another dick sucker. Liberal is another word for spineless shitbag.

Now before y'all get all crazy calling me a racist, I just want to reassure you I'm not a racist. I'm a bigot and there is a difference.