Sunday, November 30, 2008

Big Box Of Done

Well. It looks like I made it. 30 days and 30 post later NoThroSnowMoFoBloPoHoMoJoJoJoDoeGroShoYoCrowThoBroLow is finally done. The angels sing. Now where's my fuckin' prize.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

One More Fuckin' Day

I often wonder if I'm boring. I know I don't do the exciting shit I used to do. I don't tell all my good stories cause I'm waiting on a book deal and why give it away if I can get paid for it. At the same time I look at my comments and I don't see very many. I also check my tracking thingy and I don't have near the number of readers I used to. I know some of the post are boring but November is a bitch. Posting every day can be real difficult. Posting on days when you just don't feel creative truly sucks. I don't want to do the mommy blog thing or the political blog thing or the photo blog thing or this is my family ain't they great blog thing. I much prefer the look at me I'm amazing, entertaining, smart, charming, witty, too good lookin' for words blog thing. I just gotta figure out how to get back there with out giving away too much content for free. I want to retire from physical labor and make money sitting at home writing. or go back to pimpin' either way don't require much effort.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Keepin' Her Happy

One word. Butterball fuckin' turkey. Don't ever buy anything else. They got a pop up timer. It tells you when the bird is done. They're also not like eating a salt block. I bought one today so Jen could redeem herself. I would never tell her yesterdays fowl was fucked, but then again she knew it without me saying a thing. She tried, she really did. She got up early and cooked all day and other than the 10 or 20 trips I had to make to the store for forgotten shit, she didn't require a thing from me. It was a good day, Dallas won. I watched the game between naps. Then dinner was served.

I did the right thing. I ate it. I told her it was fine. She got mad, she knew differently and that means I lied to her. The boys told her it was good. Their lies were bigger. It really was OK. Other than the salty weird textured turkey, the salty gravy, the too brown, brown and serve rolls and the cold (should of been hot) green bean casserole. The corn, smashed taters, carrots, and scrimps were great.

Lets not forget dessert. The peach pie was wonderful and I hear the apple was good too. Jen likes pumpkin, the crust was like chewy glue. She just couldn't win. An angry Jen is not a good Jen. Luckily the Christmas tree is going up today. That makes Jen happy. A happy Jen IS a good thing.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Three Times

It's that time again. Time for my annual things I'm thankful for or things I'm thankful for not having.

I'm thankful
1. That at least once a year Jen knows her role. She cooks and I watch football between naps.
2. All the girls I've loved before.
3. The price of gas has gone down.
4. The little briefs moments of silence between my kids arguments.
5. That it's still a little while before the devil is sworn in as President.
6. I'm not a Detroit Lion fan.
7. For Jell-O
8. For Jen fetching me a Jell-O
9. For spoons
10. For my right hand.
11. That I still have some teeth.
12. For mirrors. (I need to look at me)
13. For tater smashers. (Jens arms would really hurt if she had to smash taters with a fork)
14. For Sonics cherry lime aide.
15. For all the things I can think of for this list.
16. That NoMoPoHo is almost over.
17. For Vicodine (almost forgot)
18. For naps.
19. That some of y'all comment. (the rest of y'all need to work on that)
20. That this is the end of this list.

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there that didn't vote for Obama. A very special Happy Thanksgiving to those that actually voted for me. And to those that voted for Obama. Thanks for bringing about the end of the world.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Leave A Message

Hello. You have reached the Trashman. I can't come to my blog right now. I'm unconscious. I had the stitches ripped out of my mouth today and I took a handful of pills. If this is an emergency, too fuckin' bad. I'll be back tomorrow. If you don't read me tomorrow, you suck but Happy Thanksgiving anyway. Please leave a comment after the beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEP

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Shield

Tonight is the final episode. Part of me is glad it's over. My heart can't take it. I'm left on the edge of my seat at the end of every episode not to mention the cliff hangers at the end of the season. Always wondering how Vic Mackey was going to get himself out of his latest mess. Another part of me wants the show to last forever. For the same reasons.

Vic Mackey is a lousy cop. Which means he's a cop. They're all lousy, except for Jack. Jack is the ONLY clean cop I know. Not that I know a lot of cops. But I would venture from the headlines that there's not a lot of clean cops.Vic is as corrupt as a guy can get. That's actually one of the things I like about him and one of the things I can't stand about him. Cops should be clean. They're held at a higher standard and they should live up to it. Vic Mackey however is as dirty as............. something really dirty. He deals drugs. He beats up prisoners. He forces confessions. He kills other cops. Every bad thing he does is done to clean up the streets, sort of. He believes he does it to make the world a better place and I'm sure some of it does make the world better. But you can't justify killing cops. Killing the cop happened early on in the series, he did it for self preservation. I can almost understand that. I can't condone it but I can understand it. In fact I think that's the only really bad thing he did.

I like Vic Mackey. He was my fuckin' hero. Or he was until he sold out Ronnie on the last episode. He got to carry a gun and do whatever he wanted to do. It's a damn shame he dies tonight. I don't know if he really dies or the series just dies. I just hope they don't have the fade to black Sopranos end. I'm hoping for the everybody shoots everybody else Reservoir Dogs ending. One thing I hope happens is Vic gets Shane. I hope he kills that redneck idiot. This series wouldn't be ending if Shane wasn't such a fuck up.

There are a few others I would like to see 86'd on tonights episode.
Claudette (I can't stand this holier than thou bitch)
Aceveda (He sucks dick then has the guy with the dick killed, but hates Vic. Hypocrite)
Dutch (Serial killer in the making, also likes Vic's sloppy seconds, needs killing)
Corrine Mackey (Vic's wife. Turned on him. Bitch ain't no good.)
Mara Sewell- Vendrell (Shane's cunt wife. Total waste of oxygen)
Fuck why not kill them all. They could set off a nuclear bomb that Jack Bauer didn't find.

The show starts in 10 minutes so I'll probably know how it ended before anybody reads this. If you're nice and leave a comment maybe I'll tell you how Vic survives.

Shane killed his wife (Mara) and kid before blowing his own head off. (I called this 2 weeks ago)
Aceveda is going to be elected mayor.
Dutch killed a 16 year old serial killers mom and blamed it on the 16 year old.
Corrine went into witness protection to hide from Vic.
Ronnie was arrested and will be sent to prison.
Claudette has lupus and will die the slow painful death she deserves.
Vic got his immunity deal and will sit behind a desk for three years, basically he's in his own version of hell.

It was one of the worst endings I have ever seen. What a fucking disappointment.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Last Supper

Tonight my oldest hit me with a question from left field. Actually it was a two part question. He's always asking me weird shit but this was some of the weirdest. I guess it's his age, I hope it's his age. I'd like to think he's not one of those strange kids. Anyway he asked me, if I was on death row what would I want for my last meal and how would I want to be put down. I thought that would make a pretty good post. So I'm gonna tell y'all what I told him. "What the fuck is wrong with you, why would you ask me some fucked up shit like that? Dude you're fucked up, isn't it time for you to go to bed. You need some fucking therapy. That's fuckin' twisted. Really that's some fuckin' sick ass shit. Did I drop you on your head as a baby?"

Just kidding. Here's what I told him.
Green salad with ranch dressing
Fried shrimp
Stuffed crab
The biggest Kobe rib eye steak available - medium/medium rare
Prime rib - medium/medium rare
Stuffed peppers
Asparagus smothered in butter
Smashed potatoes
Sauteed mushrooms
Onion rings
Fettucini Alfredo
Biscuits and gravy
Two eggs over medium
Banana pudding
Black Forest cake
Peach cobbler
Bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream
A cup of coffee with Carnation Irish Cream creamer
A class of Borden Dutch chocolate milk
and wash it all down with a gallon or two of sweet iced tea.

After all that, if you can lift my fat ass, stand me up in front of the firing squad and pull the trigger.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Weekend

Crazy weekend. Texas Tech lost. Dallas won. True Blood had their season finale. I have a black eye from the dentist, plus I'm living on Jell-O and Vicodin. I want to post about the series end of The Shield but I'm not coherent enough. Thank you Vicodin. Built some earrings tonight. Maybe I'll mail them this week. We'll see. My bed is calling me. Gotta paint a house tomorrow, hopefully it's the last job like this I do. I'll try to do better tomorrow. I know this is not interesting but I want to stay in the running for a prize.

Keep On Keeping On.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sexy Beast

People magazine named Hugh Jackman as the sexiest man alive. That's fuckin' funny. First off who names their kid Hugh? What if he's a small guy? How will he live up to the name Hugh? Why not name him Large or Big? And the last name Jackman. When you think about it, his name means large masturbater. How did he survive childhood? Plus he's from Australia. There's nothing sexy in Australia.

I know they left out part of the interview. I happened to get my hands on it. So here we go.

2008's Sexiest Man Alive sat down with PEOPLE's Elizabeth Leonard and Julie Jordan to reveal his deepest secret.

EL & JJ: What was the first thing you did when you found out you were named sexiest man alive?

Hugh Jackman: I looked in the mirror and couldn't see what they saw. I couldn't believe they had picked me. Do they not know The Trashman? That's who they should have picked. He's far better looking, has more talent and is a much nicer guy than me. I mean if there ever was a sexiest man alive, then it's definitely The Trashman. Even Brad Pitt wishes he were that pretty.

Maybe he's smarter than I thought.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Eating Jello

I had some more teeth removed today. I don't know who hurt me more, the dentist or his assistant. I figure if I get 2 more removed, I can lose the shirt, wear overalls, get a cap that says "party nekkid" and move back to the trailer park. Things are looking up even if I can't grow a mullet.

I had the laughing gas. They need to get it checked. I think it went bad. I never laughed.

My teeth are bad due to past drug use, I guess I should have listened to momma. One good thing about the dentist is I got a BIG bottle of vicodin. They're even extra strength. I figure if I work the dosage just right, in 30 days I could be a full fledged junkie. There is another option though. Which reminds me. Does anyone know the street value of vicodin?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'll Make You Famous

Today we discuss Michael/Andrew from the University of Maryland at Baltimore. His IP address is . We shall call him Biff. I think Biff is more of a college name, and since his real name is neither Michael or Andrew then Biff will do just fine. Biff doesn't leave an email address or a blog address.

Biff has attacked me in my comments. He first used the name Michael when I posted this. He started using the name Andrew with this post. I don't have a problem being attacked. The problem I have is Biff attacked my wife and children.

Biff seems confused. He referred to me as "right-wing Christo-fascist racist, homophobic trash". Lets break that down, right-wing meaning I lean towards the conservative side of life. That would be wrong, conservative I ain't. I do believe in The Constitution and owning guns and all that shit but conservative, never. Christo-fascist. Well since he capitalized Christo it seems like he maybe a Christian himself. Racist. We all are to an extent. Homophobic. This one is laughable since in a later comment he made remarks that perhaps I was engaging in homosexual acts with my sons (only a truly sick person could come up with something like that) it seems like he may have problems with the queers. I am one of their biggest supporters when it comes to gay marriage. Which would also prove I'm not right-wing nor Christo-fascist nor homophobic. The only part he got right was racist trash and I'm not really that racist. I don't dislike skin color. I just dislike behavior and most of the people that behave a certain way all happen to have the same skin color. Now that we have established that Biff doesn't know what he's talking about lets discuss why he chose to attack me and more importantly my family.

I believe Biff has attacked my family because he is jealous. Perhaps Biff wants to be like me. Maybe Biff has no family and never will. I'm not going to say he's to ugly to find a mate because I've never seen him. I know he's an angry person so maybe that's why he'll never procreate. Maybe he pushes everyone away with his anger.

I know he has said some really foul things about Jen and the boys. Three innocent people. Why attack the innocent, Biff? Why? Couldn't you just direct your anger at me personally? Is it because you know what you say about me is ineffective? So instead you attack innocents? Does it make you feel good? Does it make you feel like a big man? Do you puff your chest out and say "I'm a tough guy"? Well Biff, are you a tough guy?

Maybe you attack me because I'm a high school drop out and you're a college dude and yet I have more talent in my pathetic little dick than you could ever hope to have coursing through your veins.

Have you ever been anywhere or done anything, Biff? Or have you just always lived with Mommy and Daddy? Is that it Biff? Are you to scared to leave the nest? Are you afraid to try things so you sit behind your computer and read about other peoples lives and pass judgement on them?

You attack people that don't agree with you politically. Seems like that would make you a rabid liberal. You are so happy to conform to what the liberals want, you're ready to sell your soul to the government. Anything so that Big Brother will take care of you. So they will keep you safe. So they will control your life. So you don't have to make any decisions. So you can sit in front of that monitor and live a false life and anyone that doesn't conform to you ways must be "right-wing Christo-fascist racist, homophobic trash". Are you angry because I don't conform Biff, angry because I believe in free speech?

I do believe in free speech because I could block your IP. I could delete your comments. I'm just going to let you keep on commenting, because of free speech and every time you attack my family you prove how ignorant you are. Every time you attack my family you show the world what true Obama supporters are like. Pathetic, scared, cowardly little people.

The whole problem Biff, is that I track you. I know when and what you're reading. I know you've never read my archives. So you don't really understand. I've had two contracts on me, yet I'm still here. See Biff, you're pissing off the wrong guy. Say what you want about me, it's like water off a ducks back but talk shit about my wife and kids. Well that's like poking a sleeping grizzly with a stick. Don't wake the grizzly Biff.

This is an invite to Biff. Email me . Do you have the balls Biff? Are you going to continue to hide? Step out into the light Biff. The truth shall set you free.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Evil Incarnate

On November 5th 2008 the Illinois Lottery numbers for the pick 3 were 6-6-6. It has happened several times in the state of Illinois. Records reveal it has happened four other times this year. In 2008, the combination has appeared more often than any other similar sequence like 1-1-1 or 9-9-9. The downtown zip code in Chicago is 60606. Drop the zeros and once again you have 6-6-6.

November the 5th was the day after Obama won the election. Obama was a state senator in Illinois. Things that make you say hmmmmm.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Cherry 2000

I'm pretty and smart. I however got cheated on 2 things, lots of money and a really huge dick. Therefore I made adjustments. Charm, wit, personality and my only talent.



This was done with my tongue and teeth. You will notice no real damage to the cherry stem once I tied the knot. That's right I tied that knot with just teeth and tongue. I am the motherfuckin' master. Since I like to hear myself talk (after all I am fuckin' funny) I can keep my lips and jaw moving for hours and my tongue too. I can provide testimonials if need be. Ladies the line forms at my front door. Be sure you bring your checkbook.

I don't want to hear a damn thing about picture quality. I was rushed.

Monday, November 17, 2008


I haven't worked in 3 months. Fortunately Jen has 2 jobs which has kept our heads above water. Sometimes we slipped below the surface but we always manage to float back to the top. There just hasn't been any work since the economy took a shit. Jen wanted me to take some time off anyway to try to get a little healthier. She was right. My work is really physically demanding and it was taking it's toll on me. Not to mention the stress of dealing with the idiots that wanted their shit fixed or remodeled. I always wound up bringing work home at night and the customers would call at all hours and even on weekends. Usually with a stupid question. Like if the paint they want will match the tile they want. Right. I can see through the fucking phone. Plus the fact in order to win the bids, we had to bid low, which means we weren't making much money. And our last customer ripped us off for about $5000.00. So there was plenty of stress. My business was killing me. Literally. Other than being broke for the last 3 months, I've been pretty stress free, except for the fact my mother died. So I'm finally getting to a pretty good place. I'm dealing better with mom, I'm not dealing with customers, I'm getting some rest, and I'm getting to spend more time with the boys.

Now the dilemma. Bids are rolling in again. My partner is WAY behind on all his bills and really needs this. Unfortunately he's bidding the jobs so low there is no way we're not going to win most of them. I've tried telling him several times I want out. I've tried being real nice about it. I even told him today I was done. No ifs ands or buts about it. I'm done. His response "It's all I've got. What time do we have to start that tile job tomorrow?" I can't go back to doing this shit. I'm better off working at Blockbuster. Hell, I would even make more money once you figure out the hourly rate of the pay I made working for myself. He can't sell the jobs. He hates people and it shows. I can because I'm a master at this shit, but I want the fuck out. I don't ever want to see another tool again. Unless I'm just piddle fucking around with something I want to do for myself.. In fact I want all the tools out of my garage so I can set up a gym for my oldest child. I might even get in there myself and try to get back into shape (for you ladies of course).

Jen has told me time after time she just wants me healthy and happy again. If I'm working in this job I will never be either. She wants me out also. My partner has always been there to help me when I needed it. What the fuck do I do? On one hand I owe him and on the other is my health, sanity and family.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Unholy Trinity.

I have more proof that since Obama won the election that evil has gotten stronger. My twin brother (the EVIL one) went to visit a monastery this weekend. There was no lightning, no bursting into flames, no plagues, no rivers turning into blood. Nothing. Evil now has so much power it can go anywhere it wants to. Obama is the beast controlled by the devil. The devil is the beast controlled by my brother. Obama, the devil and my brother. The end is near.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Seinfeld Post Again

I got nuthin. I racked my little pea brain all day and this is all I got. It's not like y'all are gonna read it on the weekend any way. Try back tomorrow.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I Warned You

I told you once Obama won, things would start to change. It's already started in the banking world. Seems a bunch of banks want to do business with the muslims. This is the fucking proof. Read it if you want to, or turn a blind eye to the muslim take over. It's your neck. I'm shopping for more guns.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

17 Left

So much for more comments. Now I'm posting every day just to stay in the running for a fucking prize. Actually I got a good one for tomorrow, but I'm running short on time for tonight. So until tomorrow you'll just have to suck on this one.

Remember comments. Even if it's a big "Fuck you Trashman".

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

18 More To Go

See that thing over on the right. The one that says "click the can". That's a link to my cafe press store, it's got some political shit in it. Go buy some while you can. The election's over and I'll be replacing it soon. I don't know if you're aware of the fact that political stuff goes up in value over time. Plus it will be worth even more when y'all decide I need to replace Nobama as supreme ruler. I will be adjusting the prices so that I only make .01 cent per item. So don't think I'm going to be getting rich of this shit. Buy, don't buy it doesn't matter to me. I'm just giving you a chance at a piece of history. Now you can own memorabilia from the greatest Presidential candidate of all time.

Also. I better start seeing more comments.

Sorry I didn't have anything better tonight. You try doing this shit every day.

Comment. NOW.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

19 More Post Left

This video was offered to me by my doppelganger (evil twin) to help me fulfill my PoHoThoBlo obligations. I submit this video as proof that comedic genius runs in the family. Even though my brother made an innocent (HA) video of a snake dining on a mouse. I say it is much more. It is a prophetic look at the next four years in America. It represents what Obama (the snake) is going to do the American people (the mouse). I know you're wondering what is so funny about a snake eating a mouse. That part is the evil that courses through my brothers veins. Every time I watch it I hope this time he won't get eaten. For those of you that can't stomach the death of one of Gods little miracles, the funny part starts at 1:08 of the video. So, stay to the end and have a laugh. With Obama in office there won't be too many more of those.

Yes I realize it's Veterans Day. Thanks to ALL the veterans, including me.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Staying Cool

In the Texas heat there's nothing quite like a shade tree.

Not only am I pretty, I'm fucking funny.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Mom, Apple Pie & Baseball


You can't get more American than "The Trashman".

The blackout on the eyes is to make sure I'm not recognized by the Feds.

Have you ever seen so much pretty in one place?

Saturday, November 08, 2008


One thing you can say about G-Dub, he was not in the shit business. He didn't give any and he didn't take any.

Obama on the other hand is a different story. It amazes me how fast the Russians threatened us, they even accused us of destroying the worlds economy. The fucking Arabs did that with the oil prices then the speculators didn't help with the futures market. North Korea wants a sit down. All the different terrorist organizations are willing to deal with him as long as he shows them the proper respect. Obama is going to kiss some muslim ass.

President Bush would have told them all to lump it. Yep, it would have been his way or the highway. Which it should be. We ARE the last of the super powers.

Obama's going to pull out the troops and cut military spending. Then he's going to bow to the will of everybody out there that wants to pull his chain. America is dead and gone. It's just a matter of time.

Let me know when y'all are ready for me to take over.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Simply The Best

Sometimes I think I'm not arrogant enough.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

What's It Gonna Be?

Who would of ever guessed that my blog would create some intelligent back and forth in the comment section. Certainly not me.

Anyway today's subject. Racism. We're ALL affected with it. Me, you, everybody. White, black, brown, red, yellow, stripped, it doesn't matter. Everybody is a fucking racist. Even me, believe it or not. And I'm going to prove it.

You have two neighborhoods. They are identical in every way. Same income levels. Same crime stats. Same houses. Same stores. Same parks. Same trees. Same lawns. Same cars. Same everyfuckingthing. They are mirror images of one another. They both have one empty house. These houses are for sale for the same price. They both have the same floor plan because they're identical. Here's the kicker. One of these neighborhoods is all white and one is all black. Which one are you going to move into?

Answer honestly. If you're black and you say the white neighborhood or you're white and you say the black neighborhood you're a lying mother fucker. Whites will move to the white hood and blacks will move to the black hood. And that my friends is racism. I don't want to hear any of your liberal psycho-babble about people being natural drawn to people like them. Bullshit. Black people move to the black hood because they don't trust or like the white man. White people move to the white hood because even though they're identical, the property values are higher in the white hood.

As for me. I don't want to live in either place. I'm moving to an island with a bunch of sex starved Victoria's Secret models.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

What Have You Done?

He has ties to the PLO. He has ties to the Weather Underground. He listened to Rev. Wrights hate filled rhetoric for 20 years, that is until he decided he needed to rule the world. He's a socialist. He's a muslim. He's the anti-Christ. He made a faux-pas (more like a Freudian slip) when referring to the 57 states. His wife said she could finally be proud of her country, so I guess we used to embarrass her. He did fuck up and say "my muslim faith". I could go on and on, I just don't have the energy. One more thing. If anyone says this election wasn't about color (especially anyone black) they're full of shit. There was dancing in the streets of Harlem last night. All anybody could talk about on TV was the history making of finally "A Black President". When I went to pay my insurance today, the first words from my black female insurance agent were "So how do you feel about the election?" I refused to answer. Why give her the satisfaction? She must have already decided I'm in the Klan. I am white after all?

He ain't my president. Y'all elected him. Y'all deal with him. When the world goes to shit and you need saving, you need to tell me I was right first.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Results Ain't In Yet

If I wait for the election results I will miss my deadline for the HoBloMoFo thing. I'm not going to mess this up for anything, so y'all will have to wait until all the votes are counted to read what I have to say.

Instead tonight I want to talk about my favorite subject. Me. As most of you know I have diabetes. Due to this I piss a lot. In fact I told the boys one day that my life was one big piss with little breaks between. Lots of things make me piss. For instance the phone. If it rings I gotta go. Anybody that calls me knows this. When I pull into my driveway, I gotta go. If I raise my right hand, I gotta go. That one usually causes problems since I hold my dick with my right hand. This is however not what I wanted to talk about, it's just a little info that needed to be told to understand the rest of the story.

There's a medicine cabinet right above my toilet. This cabinet has a mirror on the door. So since I spend so much time pissing this means I spend a lot of time looking at myself. After all the hundreds of hours of looking at myself, I have come to a conclusion and that is.

I am one pretty mother fucker.

Monday, November 03, 2008

The Truth Is Right Here

Let me tell you about my wife Jen. She is a spiritual loving person. She feels no ill will towards anyone and she loves everybody (except for me). She doesn't have a prejudiced bone in her body. She truly believes in giving everyone a chance. If it weren't for Jen I would either be in prison or be with some psychotic slut ass stripper (not that that's a bad thing). She's just fucking wonderful, which drives me nuts sometimes. How am I gonna play Bonnie and Clyde with an actual honest person. If you don't believe what I am saying you can ask Jack (if you can find him) or Zelda or Jethro. They'll tell you I am completely out-classed.

Now the important part. When she sees Obama on TV she tells me that there's something wrong with him. She says he's EVIL. I believe her. I believe her because she doesn't say things like that about anybody. So you stupid fucks are about to vote the devil into the most powerful office in the world. So be ready to be branded with the sign. As far as me, I ain't going down without a fight. Y'all yell "All hail satan". I'll be living in the woods.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

November 2nd

The McRib is back. It should be called the McMiniRib. It's more expensive and only half the size it used to be. You better get it while you can. If Obama gets elected it will only be a matter of time before pork is outlawed (because he's a stinking muslim). If pork manages to stay legal then Obama will want you to buy one and split it with somebody else (because he's a stinking socialist). Gotta share the wealth.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is Granny Grunts birthday. She would have been 81. She always loved attention on this date. She would start to remind her co-workers at least a month in advance, usually by saying "My birthday is on November first. I don't want a party or any special attention." They skipped it one year. After all the hell she raised they never skipped it again.

So today we threw her a little party. We sang and had cake. You can't tell by the picture (she never smiled much) but she had a good time. That's her in the party hat. Doesn't she look like she's having fun. I had to blow out the candle for her.


I'm doing the NoMoBloHo thing again this year so I'll post every fucking day. Show some love. I'll be watching y'all.