Monday, November 17, 2008


I haven't worked in 3 months. Fortunately Jen has 2 jobs which has kept our heads above water. Sometimes we slipped below the surface but we always manage to float back to the top. There just hasn't been any work since the economy took a shit. Jen wanted me to take some time off anyway to try to get a little healthier. She was right. My work is really physically demanding and it was taking it's toll on me. Not to mention the stress of dealing with the idiots that wanted their shit fixed or remodeled. I always wound up bringing work home at night and the customers would call at all hours and even on weekends. Usually with a stupid question. Like if the paint they want will match the tile they want. Right. I can see through the fucking phone. Plus the fact in order to win the bids, we had to bid low, which means we weren't making much money. And our last customer ripped us off for about $5000.00. So there was plenty of stress. My business was killing me. Literally. Other than being broke for the last 3 months, I've been pretty stress free, except for the fact my mother died. So I'm finally getting to a pretty good place. I'm dealing better with mom, I'm not dealing with customers, I'm getting some rest, and I'm getting to spend more time with the boys.

Now the dilemma. Bids are rolling in again. My partner is WAY behind on all his bills and really needs this. Unfortunately he's bidding the jobs so low there is no way we're not going to win most of them. I've tried telling him several times I want out. I've tried being real nice about it. I even told him today I was done. No ifs ands or buts about it. I'm done. His response "It's all I've got. What time do we have to start that tile job tomorrow?" I can't go back to doing this shit. I'm better off working at Blockbuster. Hell, I would even make more money once you figure out the hourly rate of the pay I made working for myself. He can't sell the jobs. He hates people and it shows. I can because I'm a master at this shit, but I want the fuck out. I don't ever want to see another tool again. Unless I'm just piddle fucking around with something I want to do for myself.. In fact I want all the tools out of my garage so I can set up a gym for my oldest child. I might even get in there myself and try to get back into shape (for you ladies of course).

Jen has told me time after time she just wants me healthy and happy again. If I'm working in this job I will never be either. She wants me out also. My partner has always been there to help me when I needed it. What the fuck do I do? On one hand I owe him and on the other is my health, sanity and family.

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