Monday, November 24, 2008

Last Supper

Tonight my oldest hit me with a question from left field. Actually it was a two part question. He's always asking me weird shit but this was some of the weirdest. I guess it's his age, I hope it's his age. I'd like to think he's not one of those strange kids. Anyway he asked me, if I was on death row what would I want for my last meal and how would I want to be put down. I thought that would make a pretty good post. So I'm gonna tell y'all what I told him. "What the fuck is wrong with you, why would you ask me some fucked up shit like that? Dude you're fucked up, isn't it time for you to go to bed. You need some fucking therapy. That's fuckin' twisted. Really that's some fuckin' sick ass shit. Did I drop you on your head as a baby?"

Just kidding. Here's what I told him.
Green salad with ranch dressing
Fried shrimp
Stuffed crab
The biggest Kobe rib eye steak available - medium/medium rare
Prime rib - medium/medium rare
Stuffed peppers
Asparagus smothered in butter
Smashed potatoes
Sauteed mushrooms
Onion rings
Fettucini Alfredo
Biscuits and gravy
Two eggs over medium
Banana pudding
Black Forest cake
Peach cobbler
Bluebell homemade vanilla ice cream
A cup of coffee with Carnation Irish Cream creamer
A class of Borden Dutch chocolate milk
and wash it all down with a gallon or two of sweet iced tea.

After all that, if you can lift my fat ass, stand me up in front of the firing squad and pull the trigger.

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