Sunday, July 09, 2006

You Talkin' To Me ?

The Trashman has always wanted to speak in the third person, but the Trashman thinks this would hurt the Trashman's business. Think about it, if the Trashman were to walk around saying things like "The Trashman thinks you should paint the walls white." or "The Trashman thinks you should use oak cabinets." then the Trashman's customers would look at the Trashman and say "Are you a fucking idiot?" So the Trashman can't do that, but there is an alternative. Since y'all already know the Trashman is a fucking idiot, then the Trashman can type in the third person. Today the Trashman is going to fill you in on a few things and the Trashman is also going to address some of the comments from the Trashman's last post. But first the Trashman is going to stop typing in the third person because the Trashman is even starting to annoy the Trashman.

First, last Thursday I received a call from a low ranking government employee. The call went like this.

LRGE: "Stop with the conspiracy posts or we're going to pull up in front of your house in a black van and make you disappear."
Trashman: "I figured I would be spending some time in Guantanamo Bay."
LRGE: "Gitmo is easy. We've got something a lot worse for home-grown fuckers like you."
Trashman: "OK."
LRGE: "I'll be back in touch."
Trashman: "OK."

I haven't heard from him since. I won't lie to you, when I first received the threat I thought maybe I would stop. Then I figured fuck-em. I AIN'T SKEERED.

, I'm counting on you to have my back.

Now on to the comments.
Jack said: Dude...whatever you're smoking, just stop it. You're sounding more and more like some kinda militia nutjob with every post.

There's no conspiracy. The government isn't pitting the races against each other (rap music does that.) Nobody is listening to your phone calls or checking out your bank accounts. Read past the alarmist headlines, bro.

Seriously...Prozac. Check it out. Much love, even though you're crazy as hell.

Jack, I'm smoking Marlboros. I am a nut job. See the beginning of this post, it proves there are conspiracies. Prozac is for light weights. I get high on my own brain waves.

Shoe said: no doubt, what jack said, you're obviously on crack

Shoe the only crack I'm on is... well that's x-rated.

Zelda said: All governments try to hide their corruption, and I'm not excusing it in the U.S. But to say we're the worst is laughable especially coming from a Presidential candidate in a state that borders a completely out of control country - one whose political policy involves mooching off of us to the best of their ability.

Politically speaking, folks don't like a tear down candidate. You have to find the good and build upon that instead of declaring it all bad and destroying it.

Zelda, I have to tear down. I'm counting on the idiot vote. I know my regular readers don't believe I'm really running for president. So I'm counting on all the nut jobs to write in the Trashman on their ballots. I know I won't win, but if there's enough write in votes it will make the news, then I go global. There is a method to my lunacy.

Brighton said: Thank you for the Happy Birthday wish : )
And as usual, you know you have my vote.
Can the Dixie Chicks play though?

Brighton, you're welcome, thank you and the only thing the dixie chicks can play with is my nut sack (after a really hot day at work).

The rest of y'all (magz, Inanna, ) want to know how I plan to change things. Welfare reform (no more welfare) Tax reform (flat sales tax rate, no more income tax). Immigration reform (close our borders). Education reform (college for those that can't afford it). Plus I plan on getting the best advisors money can buy, these advisors will be hand picked by my readers (see I trust y'all to be intelligent).

Other news: I'm thinking about becoming a life coach. As far as I can tell the only thing you need is life experience and business cards. I think I would be pretty good at telling others how to live their lives and charging an obscene amount of money for it. If anyone is interested I would be willing to practice on you for free. Let me know.

Until the next time. Keep on keeping on.

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