I know I've been gone for awhile. Right now my whole world is upside down, but I'm not going to get into that. Instead I'm going to dig down deep inside and try to entertain y'all.
These are 20 things the Trashman will never say.
1. I don't care how fat you get, I love you for you.
2. Welfare? I think it's a great idea.
3. But I don't want a blow job.
4. Michael Moore is a genius.
5. Undocumented workers.
6. George Bush did not lose his mind.
7. We should let everyone come to America. After all aren't we all brothers?
8. Do you have stripper boots in a mans size 11 wide?
9. I'm going to the Dixie Chicks concert.
10. What happened on One Life To Live today?
11. Not tonight I have a headache.
12. Do these pants make my ass look big.
13. Katrina Victims.
14. I don't need a lawyer. You got me, I did it.
15. I'll have the vegetarian platter.
16. Do you have any Jazz music?
17. That guy is hot.
18. That's OK. When I said medium rare I meant burnt to a crisp.
19. Are you up for a game of Dungeons and Dragons?
20. Honey, strap this on, bend me over and make me squeal.
Now I'm going to put three of y'all on the spot. I want to know 10 things you'll never say. Jack, Jethro, and Kim.