Sunday, August 22, 2004

Nocturnal Emissions

It seems dreams are the subject of the week. I have been wondering if I should share this or not. I have decided to go ahead and tell all, after all honesty is the best policy.

There is nothing quite like a gooey dream. I'm man enough to admit I still have them from time to time. Two days ago it was time. What makes this one unusual is it involved Paris Hilton. Now I know some people find PH attractive but I'm not one of them. However Nicole Richie is a different story. I do after all like my women a lot on the trashy side.

I won't go into full detail on this dream, just suffice to say I was knocking on PH's back door. Anyway right at the most crucial moment I woke up (I'm sorry but it feels great). I was laying there at 3:30 am with my shorts full of goo wondering, why PH. After the euphoria subsided I got up and while still half asleep, took a shower paying extra attention to some key parts of my body.

After exiting the shower I was standing in the bathroom toweling off, when I looked in the mirror. Now remember I'm still half asleep. My eyes wandered down my finely sculpted body to my Johnson. To my horror I saw red and green lines running all over it (now I'm fully awake). My heart is beating out of my chest, my eyes are going fuzzy and the only thing I can think of is it's some kind of medical condition that's going to require amputation. I scream out loud "WHAT the hell is that?"

Then I remembered..... It's just a tattoo.

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