Simple Assault

Two weeks ago Trashman Jr. went to school, just like any other day. The difference this time is he was attacked by a girl in his class. Now this was not an ordinary attack in the screaming , hitting, biting, hair pulling, pinching sort of way that you would expect from a 10 year old girl. No, this little princess who I will refer to as LB (little bitch) decided to spray my son with paint remover, causing a chemical burn on his leg. The assault happened before class started for the day, where all the kids line up to go to their classrooms. My son told his teacher about the incident. She questioned the little girl and of course LB denied everything. Jen and I were not notified until 1:00 pm.

Throughout the day my son asked to go to the bathroom to put water on the burn. Finally he asked to go to the nurse. They managed to get LB to confess and they found a spray bottle in her desk. The nurse called the poison control center. They said to wash the burn for 15 minutes and to keep it covered with something moisturizing like vaseline. The school eventually called Jen. Jen called me, and I of course in typical irate father fashion, headed for the school.

Once I got there I had to sign in and all the "necessary" bullshit before I could see my son. I asked John how his leg was and he told me it didn't burn anymore, he was fine. He also told me earlier it burned so bad he wanted to cry, but he wasn't going to cry because he wasn't a sissy. At that point I had three feelings. Pride; because my son dealt with it like a man. Anger; because it must have really burned intensely to make him want to cry, he's one tough kid. Severe Anger; because they let this happen in the first place.

I sat in the front office with Trashman Jr. and waited for the assistant principal. When she finally showed up I was even angrier.

Trashman: "I'm calling the police."
AP: "Why would you do that?"
Trashman: "This is a case of assault."
AP: "Let's go in my office so everyone doesn't have to hear your business."
Trashman: "I don't care who hears this."

I was lead into the office and she immediately drew the blinds and closed the door.

AP: "Let me start by apologizing..."
Trashman: "Why? Did you spray him too?"
AP: "Certainly not. I was just going to say..."
Trashman: "Don't apologize to me. I don't want to hear it. I don't apologize for anything I do, so I don't expect anyone to apologize to me."
AP: "Well I think when we make mistakes we should apologize."
Trashman: "I don't make mistakes."
AP: "You're saying you've never done anything wrong?"
Trashman: "No. I've done plenty wrong, it just wasn't a mistake. If I say or do something that's what I meant to do."
AP: "Well as part of the punishment process we make the children "own" their mistake, so I want LB to apologize to you."
Trashman: "I don't want to hear it. I won't believe it. She's not going to mean it, and it's just going to piss me off even more."
AP: "Well it's part of the process that..."
Trashman: "My process is to call the police and have her arrested."
AP: "You don't want to do that."
Trashman: "Why? What are you going to do the girl?"
AP: "I can't tell you due to privacy issues."
Trashman: "Well I can tell you. You're going to hug her and talk about what happened and why did little precious squirt the mean ol boy. As a matter of fact. Why did she have this stuff at school?"
AP: "We're not sure why?"
Trashman: "I can tell you why. She brought it to school to spray somebody."
AP: "We don't know that."
Trashman: "I do. That's why she brought it in a spray bottle.This is why I hate public schools."
AP: "This could have happened anywhere, at the store, at the mall. at the..."
Trashman: "No, it wouldn't have happened anywhere."
AP: "But it could have..."
Trashman: "I guarantee it would not have happened if I would have been here. I unlike others know what's going on around me, at all times. So are you just going to hug this girl and "talk" about it?"
AP: "I can assure you I have a lot more at my disposal as far as punishment. If you read the hand book we sent home with your child you would know it could be anywhere from a time out to three days suspension."
Trashman: "That's not enough. The only way she will learn is if she faces some real consequences."
AP: "Those are real consequences."
Trashman: "No, but an arrest is real."
AP: "You're being a little extreme aren't you?"
Trashman: "I'll tell what I'll do. I'll let Trashman Jr. make the decision. Son do you want to have her arrested?"
AP: "It's not fair to put that on him. You can't ask a child a question like that. That's too much for a child."
Trashman: "I already asked him and he's going to make the decision. I'm trying to raise two men not two little girls, and life's not fair and sometimes you have to make decisions you don't want to make. Well this is one of those times. He will make this decision, he's the one that got burned, he decides what happens."
AP: "I'm raising two boys by myself and I know you have to be tougher on them. I know because I'm their father and their mother. I don't get to give my children the motherly love they should have, because I'm to busy being their father the disciplinarian. That's too much responsibility for a child."

At this point I knew what I was dealing with. I should have known by the butch haircut and the sweat pants and the whistle hanging around her neck. What we had here was a dyed in the wool manhater. She found a sperm donor, got pregnant twice and ran him off. This was a clear case of a woman suffering from penis envy. She was pissed because God castrated her. Of course I was evil, of course my son must have started this. We were men therefore we were the enemy.

Trashman: "He's going to make the decision."

I turned to my pride and joy, the apple of my eye and said very firmly for her benefit.
"MAKE the decision boy. Does she go to jail?"

Trashman Jr: "I don't want her to go to jail Dad."
Trashman: "Good enough for me."
AP: "Well I still want her to apologize..."
Trashman: "I still don't want to hear it."
AP: "How about if she just admits what she did? I'll tell her not to apologize."
Trashman: "You're not going to leave this alone are you?"
AP: "No."
Trashman: "You do know you shouldn't poke a sleeping grizzly with a stick?"
AP: "Will you accept an admittance from LB?"
Trashman: "Fine."
AP: "Now just so you know I will not let you berate this child."
Trashman: "What makes you think I would do that? I don't berate my own children. Why would I do that to someone else's?"
AP: "I just know you're personality..."
Trashman: "Lady, you don't know a damn thing about me. I may be obnoxious and an asshole but I don't pick on little children. I'm offended by that."
AP: "Well I'm sorry if I said anything out..."
Trashman: "Save the apology, you meant it."

After a short time I was lead into another room, LB was sitting there but she didn't seem very worried.

LB: "I squirted you son with some paint remover."
Trashman: "Good enough for me."

I turned and walked out the door.

AP: "I'm glad you've calmed down."
Trashman: "Who says I've calmed down?"
AP: "It just seems like you're a lot calmer."
Trashman: "Well, I'm not. Right now I'm so mad I'm on the verge of a heart attack."
AP: "I think you're calmer. You just don't want to admit it."
Trashman: "You're really trying to kill me aren't you?"
AP: "I have to deal with LB. Have a good weekend Mr. Trashman."

I could have strangled that bitch on the spot and it would have been worth the trip to prison, but I didn't because I made a promise to Jen that I wouldn't go to jail until after the boys grow up and move out. Ten years from now I'll be hunting that bull dyke.

The following Monday Trashman Jr. came home from school and what he told me boiled my blood.

TJ: "Dad, I had to go talk to the counselor today."
Trashman: "What the fuck for?"
TJ: "I went in and LB was sitting there and she said she sprayed me because I cussed at her and I wouldn't stop talking about Vice City. I was talking about Vice City but I didn't cuss at her."
Trashman: "I know you didn't son. They just gave her all weekend to come up with an excuse. What else was said?"
TJ: "The lady asked me when I got sprayed how did I feel. I told her it burned. So she said not how did it feel on the outside but how did it make me feel on the inside."
Trashman: "And?"
TJ: "I told her it didn't make me feel anything on the inside. She said I must have felt something. Sad or hurt."
Trashman: "Keep going."
TJ: "I told her I don't have feelings like that. It's just something that happened. She said everybody feels sad when someone does something mean to them and that I did have feelings like that."
Trashman: "What did you say?"
TJ: "I told her not me, I'm not sensitive. If she wants feelings she should talk to T3. She said to come back and see her when I have feelings."
Trashman: "That was it?"
TJ: "I told her, I guess I don't have to come back here."

My little man is growing up. He knows men have four basic feelings. Happiness, Pride, Love, and Anger. Nothing more nothing less. We don't always show them. I manage to show one of them regularly the other three I'm working on. Sometimes shitty things happen to good people and sometimes good things happen to shitty people. It's just the way of the world. There's nothing you can do about it, so there's no sense in getting all emotional.