Thursday, September 23, 2004


This is the last of a string of post about Jens pregnancy. Trashman IV or Trashette 1 (for you people that thought I wouldn't put the stem on the apple) was called home.

Jens appointment with the specialist was today. We were told by the Dr. that she would need to be re-admitted into the hospital so she could have a D & C and so she could receive more blood. This was recommended for Jens safety, the Dr. said sooner or later she would miscarry. He's been doing this for 12 years and he has never seen one like this go full term. He said he would call her regular Dr. and make the arrangements.

After we walked out of his office Jen said she was cramping and she wanted to go home. No sooner than we got home she started bleeding again. I called her Dr. and was told to take her to the emergency room. I got her checked in at the E.R. and went to pick up the kids from school.

The boys and I got back to the hospital and I went in to see her. I sat with her for a few minutes while the nurse was fussing around. Jen raised up off the bed a little bit and I saw she was swimming in blood. Jen said I didn't look to good and told me to go check on the kids. The nurse said she would come get me just as soon as the Dr. saw Jen.

After about 45 minutes I went back to check on Jen again and I was informed by the Dr. that she had miscarried. An ultrasound was ordered and a possible D & C. Jen told me to take the boys home because they were really wound up and she would call as soon as she was in a room.

Two hours later the hospital chaplain called and expressed her sympathy and told me what room Jen was in. The boys and I went to see her. The ultrasound was clear, she didn't need a D & C and she wanted something from Jack in the Box. I went and got her something to eat and sat with her for a while. She said she was really tired and wanted me to take the boys home. Hopefully she will be home tomorrow.

I know they do a lot of stem cell research with fetus and other pregnancy parts are used for research also. So any disease cured within the next 10 years, Jen and I are taking credit for it. So you're welcome world.

I would like to give a special thank you to the following people. Jens doctor, Jens employer, Angela , vadergrrrl, Jack, Zelda, el sid, Kristin, Jamie, Ang, (just me), April, tCj, Richard, angi, Jay, Becca, Inanna, Kat, Celti, Tricia, Jenn, Fleece, Seth, Ford W. Maverick, Brandon, Wendy, cybele, Daly, boo, Jethro, nita, Anita, Jenny, Sara, Rob and Todd Vodka. Your prayers and well wishes were and always will be greatly appreciated.

Monday, September 20, 2004

E.R. E.R. UhOh

Saturday at around noon, Jen started bleeding again. Except this time it was worse than ever. We were off to the ER. After about five and a half hours she was sent home still pregnant and told to get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids and come back if she developed fever or cramping. The Dr. said he had never seen a woman bleed that much and still be pregnant.

Sunday morning Jen got up at 7:30 am. She was still bleeding. I checked on her all day and took her plenty to drink. She was in the bathroom every 30 minutes changing her unmentionables. I've seen less blood in a slaughterhouse. At midnight Jen said she felt nauseas and dizzy. We went back to the ER. They did a blood count and ran some more test. At 3:30 am they decided they needed to give her blood. I brought the boys home and put them back in bed.

I got up this morning and called Jens job and told them what was going on. I called the school and told them the boys were staying home. At 4:00 pm we went to visit Jen in the hospital, they didn't let her have anything to eat or drink all day. At 6:00 pm they decided she could have clear liquids, I got her some water and they brought her some broth. They are supposed to do an ultrasound tonight and run some more blood test. So far they have given her two bags of blood. She is supposed to call me when the test are done. It's 10:30 pm and still no word. Hopefully they will release her tomorrow, but we don't know yet.

Here's what I do know. This happens in 30% of pregnancies, 85% those go off without a hitch. Jen damn near bled to death. Two bags of blood is a lot. Worst case scenario they may have to do an abortion to stop the bleeding and save her life. With the marvels of modern medicine she should be able to eat and it not effect any test readings. At least let her have some fucking Jello. Oh yeah lets not forget hospitals suck.

Jen had her blood test and ultrasound. The blood is collecting in her uterus and squishing the embryo. I don't what that means other than the baby is a little crowded for room. I'll know more tomorrow after I talk to the good doctor.

Update update:
Jen is home now on very strict bedrest. She is being put on disablity (so much for paying the bills). She has to go see a specialist sometime within the next week to determine if she can attempt to keep the baby. She is only allowed out of bed to use the bathroom or eat. She is not allowed to drive or move around, so I will have to take her to her doctor appointments. I will up date as news comes in. In the meantime I will try to post a happier story.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

All Expenses Paid 2 Week Trip To Hell

I would like to start off by saying thank you to everyone that has commented on my last post. Thank you.

As most of you know, Jen and I are expecting a new addition to our family sometime in about seven months. That is, if everything goes according to the unplanned. We are not to sure what is happening at this point.

Jen has been to the ER twice in the last two weeks and to the regular Dr once. She has been having some bleeding and cramping problems. It was so severe she thought she was having a miscarriage. According to her three ultrasounds the baby is still there.

She has a blood clot trying to work its way between the uterine wall and the placenta. According to the Dr this is fairly common. 85% of the time it just goes away.

They tried to put her on emergency disability but she wouldn't have anything to do with that. She is our only source of income at this point and the bills have to be paid.

So the Dr told her to get plenty of rest and stay off her feet as much as possible. This is where the fun starts. Me being the great fucking guy that I am, I dove head first into the whole "I can do everything you just relax babe" pool.

So my day goes like this.
Get up make coffee.
Get Jen up ask her how she feels.
Get boys up for school.
Ask Jen how she feels.
Fix breakfast for boys.
Walk with Jen to car, ask her how she feels.
Wave goodbye to Jen.
Get boys off to school.
Drink coffee.
Call Jen tell her boys got to school, ask her how she feels.
Get showered and changed.
Put on laundry.
J. picks me up to job hunt for a job that fits between Jens schedule.
Call Jen ask her how she feels.
Go back home and do more laundry.
Clean house.
Call Jen and ask how she feels.
Boys come home and I help them with homework.
Finish cleaning house.
Call Jen and ask her how she feels.
Jen comes home.
I go to store and get anything we need.
Come home and fix dinner.
Pop into bedroom and ask Jen how she feels.
Feed boys.
Get boys ready for bed.
Do more laundry.
Ask Jen how she feels
Put kids in bed.
Watch Jen sleep.
Hear Jen snore.

This has been going on every day for two weeks with some slight changes on weekends. Weekends I take the boys somewhere so Jen can have some peace and quiet.

The cramping and bleeding finally started subsiding today but Jen still needs to stay in bed until her next appointment in two weeks.

I still read everyones blogs when I get a little time and I plan on writing sometime, so please be patient with me.

Thanks for reading. I got to go watch Jen snore.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

That Ain't Teen Spirit


Due to popular demand I'm going to post once again on one of my personal favorite subjects. ButtSex.

Up until May of this year I had spent the last four years working at a swingers club. Now for you people that don't what that is, it doesn't have anything to do with dancing. In the 70's the clubs were known as wife swapping clubs. Basically it's a place where couples and sometimes singles can go and trade partners or engage in group sex. Some clubs are off premise which means you go and meet there but go elsewhere to do the deed. In this case it was an on premise club which means you meet there and do the deed anywhere you want to, up to and including on the bar, on the dance floor, at your table, in the jacuzzi, people fucked and sucked any and everywhere.

The club was set up with eight private rooms, a jacuzzi, a T.V. room (porno on the big screen), a couples room, a dance floor, a stage for pole dancing, three bars, and seating for about 200. The couples room was off to the side and it had two french doors for privacy. Inside were a couple of couches, a few chairs, and a padded table with a spinning top. The table was used for a variety of things but mostly eating if you get my drift (eat a little and spin the top so the next guy could chew awhile). The couples room was mostly used so couples could go in with other couples to get away from the crowds and loud music. A place where they could talk and set their ground rules such as no oral sex, no kissing, whatever they wanted or didn't want so that later there would be no hard feelings or domestic disputes (which we had a few of).

On to the story.
This one particular night a couple by the names of Joe and Nancy (not their real names, duh) were in the club. Joe and Nancy were regulars and could be found there most weekends. I was DJing as usual, since I was the DJ and security. From the DJ booth I could see the whole club (can't figure out why I never went blind) and maintain some sort of control. Anyway Joe and Nancy kept making trips to the couples room with various other couples and some single guys, in and out (pun intended) for about four hours. Nothing new there, just something I noticed because I watched the crowd ever vigilant for some out of control pervert.

Towards the end of the evening I put a mix on and went into the lobby to chat with my friend J. (doorman) and the boss (George). I was sitting in one of the lobby chairs when Joe and Nancy left. I was leaning forward with my elbows on my knees when they walked by me and said goodnight to the three of us. As Nancy passed me going out of the door, I got a whiff (my nose was ass level). I sat upright like a shot, started turning purple, and flopped out of my chair, probably a lot like Kramer from the Seinfeld Show. I climbed back into the chair gasping for breath while at the same time trying to blow the nastiness out of my nose. J. and George were looking at me like I grew a second head.
Trashman: (gasping) "OHMYGOD"
George: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Trashman: (hacking) "You didn't smell that?"
J: "Smell what?"
Trashman: (coughing) "ASS"
J: "What do you mean ass?"
Trashman: (wheezing) "Nancy smelled like ass."
George: "You mean she shit herself?"
Trashman: (near tears) "No, she smelled like ASS."
J: "You mean she smelled like shit?"
Trashman: (coughing again) "NO. you dumb asses she smelled like ass."
George: "What exactly does ass smell like?"
J: "Yeah I don't get it."
Trashman: (finally breathing) "She smelled like she's been having buttsex all night."
George: "Buttsex has a smell?"
Trashman: "You old fucking pervert. How long have you been a swinger?"
George: "Since the 60's."
Trashman: "And you've never smelled buttsex?"
George: " Can't say that I have."
J: "So let me get this straight shit and ass are two different smells?"
Trashman: "You two are hopeless."

I returned inside the club to finish up my duties as a DJ and security For the next hour or so I played a few requests for my fan club and got ready to turn up the ugly lights and send everybody home. At 3:00 am the lights went up and I chased everybody out. It was now time to take out the garbage and clean the club. Once the parking lot was emptied J. closed the gate and came in to help. He decided to clean the couples room first.

I walked into the couples room and took a big sniff.
Trashman: (holding back tears) "That my friend is ASS."