Tonight, Jen made fettucini with meat sauce for dinner. Just as she was about to put the noodles in the water she looked at me and asked:
Jen: "You want the noodles broke in half or not?"
Trashman: "I don't care, just fix my damn dinner."
Jen: "On, Queer Eye On The Straight Guy, they say to not break the noodles."
Trashman: "Then don't break them, those homos know what they're doing."
After she served dinner, she went about the task of trying to teach my oldest to not eat like an animal. Just as soon as she turned her back he grabbed his fork like a shovel and curled his left arm around his plate, then proceeded to shovel noodles into his mouth. She turned around, saw him and screamed:
Jen: "What the hell are you doing?"
Trash Jr: "This is how they do it in prison, I'm just getting ready."