Nightmare has made the revenge list. Not for the questions from the last post, but for tagging me with one of those fucking meme things. Here are the directions: Write 5 random facts about yourself, and then list the names of 5 people whom you in turn infect (infect is the correct word because it takes a diseased mind to come up with this shit). These things are called meme's for a reason, they're all about vanity, which I'm an expert at. So here's my fucking list. Heaven forbid I rebel and fight the system.
1) Women find me attractive.....and I know it.
2) I'm a very shallow person.
3) I prefer women with small breast and a great ass. But the right set of boobs will catch my eye. Inanna and Zelda know what I'm talking about.
4) I have a unnatural deep seated fear (I blame the Southern Baptist) of going to hell.
5) Regardless of what Jen says, everything is all about me.
Now for the list of people I'm going to infect. Nobody. If you want to do this and give me credit fine, but I refuse put anybody on the spot, at least with a list, I normally enjoy putting people on the spot, on my terms.
Side note to Michael: You were think about my "stick" and it hadn't even entered my mind.
As y'all can see I'm trying to write more often. Hope you're fucking happy.
This last weekend my boys took it upon themselves to go out and earn some money raking leaves. Between the two of them they earned about $70.00 in an afternoon. I was really proud of them. I figured if they were old enough to work for their own money they were old enough for a speech. That was a mistake.
Trash: "Boys sit down I want to talk to you."
Trash Jr & T3 (in unison): "Come on Dad. Do we have to?"
Trash: "Sit down and listen. Kick it up."
Trash Jr: "Huh?"
Trash: "You work my neighborhood. You kick it up."
T3: "Whats that mean?"
Trash: "It means you work my neighborhood, you pay me for the privilege. Tell all your friends too."
T3: "Keep your hands off my money."
Trash Jr: "I'm telling Mom."
Trash: "Tell her and I double my cut."
Trash Jr: "DAD I'm trying to save money for Christmas."
Trash: "Oh I see you're hiding your money behind Jesus. Ok. Then you just have to listen to a speech."
T3: "Can I just pay you?"
Trash: "Nope, it's speech time."
Trash Jr: "We should of just paid him."
T3: "Don't move maybe he'll just go away."
Trash: "Boys today you earned your own money and I'm happy about that. Now here's the secret to money. Save it. Don't spend it just because you have it. Hold on to it tight. Someday you'll need it. Get as much of it as you can. When you make some don't stop working just because you have a little money in your pockets. Go make more. Don't over charge people just because your cute and you can. Treat your customers right so they'll call you back and you can make more money off them. Give them a fair job for a fair price. Never be satisfied, always strive to do a better job and always bust your ass to make more money, because I don't care what people say "money does make the world go round and it can by you love ($200.00 an hour) and it will get you happiness", so if you want the world to continue to go around and you want to hang on to the love and happiness you better have more money. What I'm trying to say is work hard, treat your customers right, strive for greatness, and be frugal. Be thankful for what you have but always try to get more. Work for more. Do y'all understand me?
Trash Jr: "Uhhhhh."
Trash: "Good. Do you have more yards lined up for tomorrow?"
Trash Jr: "I ain't working tomorrow. I made enough for one week."
T3: "Right. Can you take me to the store so I can rent a game?"
My head still hurts from beating it on the table.