Friday, December 10, 2004

Two Stepping - 3 Kinds Of Ladies - Impending Nuptials

While I sit at work doing the chores of a retarded monkey, I have plenty of time to think. I know this is a scary thing. Trashman thinking can't be good. Tonight for some unknown reason I started thinking about my childhood. I have some fairly fond memories of growing up in honky tonks. For those of you that don't know what a honky tonk is, it's not a meeting place for the Klan. It's a small family establishment, they just happen to serve alcohol. Anyway I spent some great times in honkey tonks as a child. Back in the day you would find entire family's in the bars on Saturday night. Back then things were a lot different, sure mom and dad were drinking but when the kids were there with them, parents would tend to keep it to a minimum. Not like this day and age where you have parents getting high with their teenagers.

I remember the juke box pumping out great old country songs in between sets of live music. All the kids ate corn nuts and drank coke until they were pissing brown, if you were lucky your parents would buy you a bar pizza just to stop the cries of "I'm hungry."

I remember Saturday nights was the only time I saw my dad smile or heard him laugh, usually while hustling some sucker at the pool table. He really enjoyed money he didn't have to work for.

I remember it was the only time my mom was really happy, because my dad was happy. Mom didn't get beat on Saturday nights.

I remember playing tag or some other game with the other kids in the parking lot.

What I remember most is dancing the two step. Even as a small child I was on the dance floor every Saturday night with the cutie of the week. It's funny I don't remember learning the two step, but I remember dancing it. I guess I just always knew how.

We traveled all over "The Great State of Texas" when I was a kid. I think my dad was on the run a lot or he was just trying to find some new guys to hustle at pool. I've danced my way across this state, from Wichita Falls to San Antonio and El Paso to Pasadena. I've danced in big night clubs and small beer joints, but my favorites were the honkey tonks.

Those Saturday nights were filled with laughter, great music, good times, old friends and family. I wish I could give my kids Saturday nights like those.


I attract three kinds of women. Psychos, Sluts, and Strippers.
Jen doesn't dance nor has she ever removed her clothes, publicly or privately. She's not a stripper.
I'm only the third guy she has ever been with in an intimate manner but I'm the first real man she's been with. She's not a slut.
That only leaves one thing. I guess it's a good thing I like crazy women.


We got our marriage license two days ago. We can get married after 2 o'clock Saturday afternoon. We have 27 days in which to tie the noose, I mean knot. We had an 11 year engagement. We wanted to test the waters. You know live together a while, have a couple of kids, see if we we're a compatible family. Plus nobody is going to vote for a guy that's not married.

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