Anything I say today will pale in comparison to Jay's announcement. Congratulations to both Jay and Jazz.
I will be making "whistle stops" in the future in regards to my candidacy for President of the United States of America. I know a lot of you think I'm crazy and a crackpot, but I am seriously going to run. I'll admit to being a crazy crackpot now. It shouldn't hurt my chances any.
Let's get started. Today I want to talk about "THAT Girl" or as I call them "BRB's". The Bank Robbing Bitch. These are not women that go around robbing banks as the name would suggest. No. These women are far more dangerous. They are the women that make men do stupid things. For instance, robbing banks without a gun. The conversation would go something like this:
BRB: "Do you love me?"
Sucker: "Of course baby."
BRB: "Then rob that bank for me."
Sucker: "But I don't have a gun."
BRB: "Silly, you don't need a gun. Just use your finger and point it like a gun."
"BRB's" make you do things like deliver cocaine to upstate New York. First a few 8 balls and eventually a few pounds. All without regard for personal safety. I'm not saying I ever did this. I just know how they make you act.
The world is full of "BRB's". Every man has one, if he is lucky he has never met her and never will. Jen used to get upset when I mentioned "BRB's" because she knew she wasn't mine. It took a long time for me to get it through her head being a mans "BRB" wasn't a good thing. You see the relationship between a man and a "BRB" has nothing to do with true love. It's more of a twisted, sick, perverted, vile, dark, mutated form of love and lust combined. It's the kind of thing that will make you do the stupidest shit you've ever done, all for a woman. A woman that will never love you, a woman that will use you and discard you when she's through. A woman that is evil to the core, yet she doesn't really have any idea she is evil. That's the fucked up part. She thinks she loves you, she makes you think she loves you. Yet she makes you do stupid shit and love has nothing to do with it.
Now I know a lot of you ladies out there are going to start to question your men about "BRB's". I would suggest leaving it alone. If he is not thinking about her don't bring it up. You see once a "BRB" gets her hooks into a man she injects a poison. This poison for the most part is not lethal, but it has been known to kill some men, usually in a very violent manner. Case in point. Two of the most famous "BRB's" are Helen of Troy and Cleopatra. Both managed to destroy men and countries. Most "BRB's" do not work on such a grand scale. Most only affect one or two lives.
Back to the poison. Once this poison is injected, there is no way of getting it out of a mans blood. It will be there for life. Sometimes it will lay dormant forever, sometimes it will move around coursing through his veins. You will know when it's moving around by the vacant stares and the slobber running down his chin. Don't confuse the slobber with drool. Drool is what he does when he is in heat. Slobber is what he does when madness is running though his veins. The poison will make him think of her from time to time, it can't be helped. Don't worry these are not fond memories. They are just memories. Memories of a woman that used him. Memories of the stupid shit he did just for a little attention from her. Memories of a time he is glad is over and done with.
Ladies if your man has a "BRB" in his past you are lucky to be with him. Simply because he got away from her without dying or going to prison. Very few men make it far enough away from their "BRB" to start a new relationship. The poison usually kills them or turns them into a lunatic. That is if he manages to dig the hooks out. Most men will never meet their "BRB". They are the lucky ones. A few have met them and managed to get away before the hooks were set. I would say they are lucky too. The ones that have had those hooks set in and still managed to get away are just lucky they survived. My "BRB" had her hooks so deep in me I don't really know how I ever got away. Jen had a lot to do with it. I never told her how bad it was, simply because she wouldn't understand it's not love. Her love is what saved me and pulled me out of the abyss.
I'm really lucky I survived.