Sunday, February 27, 2005

Old Time Religion

Last night Jack drove the long distance to my house, so that he and I could go to a tent revival. Yeah we've got a little bit of religion in us. We drove around in the dark for a bit looking for the revival, finally coming around a curve in the road, we saw Mecca up ahead. We knew we were at the right place because of the pink and purple neon. We parked the car and entered, dropping off the $10.00 each at the first collection plate just inside the door. We worked our way to a pew about half way to the pulpit so that we would have a good view of the Sisters of Mercy. Let the healing begin.

Brother DJ preached one hell of a sermon while the music flowed. I'm sure Sister Cinnamon was full of the spirit because she was crawling and writhing on the floor. Next Sister Bambi and Sister Satin laid hands on one another. It was a very spiritual experience. At one point Sister Sunni was healing Jack and I was approached by Sister He-Man of Greyskull for a little one on one healing in the V.I.P. tent. I declined.

At one point Brother DJ called a man out of the audience up to the stage. The man was getting married in a few days and his friends brought him to the revival for a glorious send off. He sat in a chair at the alter while Sister's Silk, Nikki, and Kiki gave him their blessings.

Later Sister Chantelle and Jack were having a communication problem (she's Chezch) but all communication problems can be solved through the universal language, and a few dollars don't hurt either. I had my eye on Sister Dracula (I do love me a freak), unfortunately she never made it to our pew to heal me. Sister Josie (I'm sure the rest of The Pussiecats were around healing others) stopped by a few times to see if I needed any counseling.

I don't remember how many times the collection plates were passed around, but it was a lot.

The revival shut down at 4:00 am and the ushers sent everybody on their way. It was a beautiful sermon.

This morning (noon 30), Jack came in my room and opened the blinds. The sun was shining for the first time in about a week. It was a gorgeous day. Jack and I had both been healed. I think we should get a little of that old time religion more often.

FLASHBACK: I drove around Saturday morning from store to store looking for a suit to buy. I had Trash Jr and his friend Joey with me. They were there because I had to go to the toy store also. My cell phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. Jack's name was on my phone, I answered it and spent the next few minutes discussing men's fashion with him. As we were getting ready to end the conversation Jack had a wonderful idea.

Jack: "What are you doing tonight?"
Trashman: "Nothing. Why?"
Jack: "How about I come up there and we go to a tittie bar?"
Trashman: "Sounds great. Let me call Jen and make sure she doesn't have any plans for us and I'll call you right back."

I called Jen and told her the plans, she was cool with it. I made sure she knew I was going to a tittie bar. No problem. I called Jack back and told him to head this way. He said he would be here as soon as he could and I hung up the phone. During all of the excitement of making the plans I had forgotten there were two 10 year old boys in the back seat.

Joey: "Mr. Trashman?"
Oh Shit
Trashman: "Yeah?"
Joey: "Are you going to look at titties?"
Trashman: "Well I'm going out with a friend tonight."
Joey: "I saw a movie once where a man rubbed some titties and the lady had big nipples."
Trashman: "Well I won't be seeing any nipples."
Trash Jr: "Why?"
Trashman: "It's against the law in the state of Texas for a woman to show her nipples."
Joey: "But they're still titties."
Trash Jr: "Uh. I don't think titties are titties without the nipples. Not that I'm an expert or anything."

I never realized how hard it is to control a car in a rainstorm while laughing uncontrollably.

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