Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wanna Trade?

Every once and awhile I get cookies and milk for a late night snack. Tonight was one of those nights. I only get a package of two cookies or I'll make a complete pig of myself. Before I go to the store I always check with everybody to see what they want. They get one chance and one chance only. I don't get extra shit.

Jen and I were in the garage smoking when Trash Jr stuck his head out

Trash Jr: "I'm hungry are those my cookies?"
Trash: "Hell no. Don't touch my cookies."
Trash Jr: "But I'm hungry. Can I have them?"
Trash: "Nope. Make a TV dinner or a burrito or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a cheese sandwich or something, but don't touch my cookies."

He closed the door and Jen looked at me.

Jen: "Let him have the cookies."
Trash: "Nope."
She tilted her head and batted her eye lashes.
Jen: "For me."
Trash: "Nope."
She tilted her head the other way and batted her eye lashes again.
Jen: "Can I have them?"
Trash: "I'll trade 'em for a blow job."
Jen (yelling): "Make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich baby."

At least I got to enjoy my cookies.