Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009

Once again it's that time where I make a list of shit that I'm thankful for or I'm thankful ain't. This year will include both. So let's get started.

1. I'm thankful for our military. I just hope when the time comes they remember the oath included protecting us from domestic enemies also.
2. I'm thankful even though I'm dying from emphylukebetes that I don't have the aids (I don't want to be labeled a queer upon death).
3. I'm thankful for Jen and the kids.
4. I'm thankful Jr. didn't get charged with felony arson.
5. I'm thankful for football.
6. I'm thankful for the few readers I have left.
7. I'm thankful you fuckers don't fill up my comment box (start commenting fuckers).
8. I'm thankful God gave me charm, wit and personality. It makes up for being bald, broke and the small dick.
9. I'm thankful that short shorts, short skirts, high boots and high heels have come back into style.
10. I'm thankful that my boy needs a ride to high school in the mornings (see #9).
11. I'm thankful this month is almost over with. (comment you fuckers).
12. I'm thankful my poor dead momma will be spending Thanksgiving with me (she'll be in a box on the table).
13. I'm thankful for vagina (every time I get some).
14. I'm thankful for crackers and cheese (turkeys not done yet and I'm hungry).
15. I'm thankful for scrimps. I love me some little shellfish.
16. I'm thankful for plastic. It's probably the greatest invention of all time. Save a tree, use plastic bags.
17. I'm thankful I have a friend in Jesus (the song just told me so). I just wish his Father wasn't hatin' me.
18. I'm thankful I have today off work. I hate that place.
19. I'm thankful I even have a job. I just wish they would pay me.
20. I'm thankful for voice mail so I only have to answer the phone if I want to. That's not aimed at you Zelda, I was driving when you called.
21. I'm thankful I don't have to get dressed up this year to go see people I already know.
22. I'm thankful for Charmin.
23. I'm thankful for Smalls (Jr.s friend, he seems to be keeping the turd out of trouble).
24. I'm thankful for peanut butter (it's amazing what can be done with the creamy goodness).
25. I'm thankful the Cowboys game is starting so I can end this misery.

Looking at the list, it's more of a thankful for list, than a thankful ain't list. Oh well, there's always next year.

Happy Thanksgiving fuckers and Keep on keeping on.