Thursday, November 19, 2009

You Ain't Hard

I worked alone the other night and I went to take a piss during a lull in the customers. The store was empty and nobody was entering the parking lot, so I cut a trail for the pisser. Just as I was about to turn on the water to wash my hands (I'm clean like that) I hear someone yelling in the store. I didn't even hear the familiar ding ding of the door when it opened. Considering the language being used during the yelling and the demographics of the neighborhood I deduced that it was one of the local thugs. I continued to wash my hands (cause I'm still clean like that).

Thug: "You. Anybody here? What the fuck, yo? Do I gots to get my own shit, yo? Yo, where the fuck you at? Yo. I'ma jump this counter, yo. Yo I needs some help."

I opened the door and walked out still drying my hands.

Trash: "You need to have a little patience."
Thug (trying to sound like a bad ass and very loudly): "I need some gas and a Black & Mild."

I walked past the garbage and threw away my paper towel and strolled up to the counter. I put my hands on the counter and leaned forward and in my best fuck you voice.

Trash: "You better have some respect."
Thug (mildly): "Can I have some gas and a Black & Mild............please."
Trash (with a smile): "Sure."

I'm hard like that.