Black Friday

I crawled my ass out of bed at 5am this morning to hit one of the sales. I didn't think I needed to get up that early because it wasn't one of your regular electronics sales. Boy was I wrong. I got to Home Depot just as they opened the doors. It was already a mad house. I was there for the Ryobi four piece cordless tool set. I had already staked out the spot earlier this week. The set was going to be on sale for $59.99, that's $100.00 off the regular price. The set comes with a flashlight, drill, circular saw, and reciprocating saw, plus two batteries and a charger. All I really wanted was the batteries and charger. I have all the other tools except the reciprocating saw, that was the bonus. I kinda wanted that also. Two batteries and a charger are normally $60.00 by themselves. So it was quite the bargain.

I got my basket and headed for the tool department. On the way I took out two do-it-yourselfers, one pregnant lady and a decorator. I kinda felt bad about the pregnant lady but the other three got no business in there. Do-it-yourselfers just fuck up shit and decorators don't know what they're doing, they just go in and charge home owners for ideas that usually can't be done. They really make my life hard, so any time I can run over run with a shopping cart you can bet the bitch is going down. You can spot them by the hair-bun, glasses on the top of the head, yellow notebook in the crook of the arm, chewing on a pencil, yakking on the cell phone, while holding color samples and looking at $400.00 bathroom faucets. $400.00 for a fucking faucet, fucking stupid bitches. Anybody that charges a home owner for telling them they need to spend $400.00 for a faucet needs to be put down. Slowly and painfully.

So I get to the tool department and spot my tool set. Priced $159.99. What the fuck? Next to it was a different set for $59.99. It included the flashlight, drill, circular saw and a cordless radio. I figured fine, fuck-em I just wanted the batteries and charger anyway. I throw the set into my cart and look at the picture. Something was wrong. Only one of the tools had a battery plugged into it, I looked around and all the other sets showed two tools with batteries. So I read the box. Mother fucker if this set didn't have but one fucking battery. Bait and fucking switch. I put it back on the shelf and headed for the door. I had just played shopping cart demolition derby for nothing. On my way out, at least three employees asked if I had found everything alright. I told them I had found the dirty business practices right where I expected to and I'm going to Lowe's to get treated right. I did however stop at the exit and admire a rolling red tool box for $59.99, I convinced myself I didn't need it.

At Lowe's (where I swore I was not going to shop anymore because they don't sell Christmas trees, they sell family trees) I bought a ladder. Hey, they had a great price and I had broken the one I stole. I came home and relaxed for the rest of the day. That's my Black Friday story.

I went back to Home Depot tonight and bought the last red tool box. I tried to get a deal on the floor model also. The manager offered me 10% off. I told him it wasn't worth $6.00 to load it and he could stick it up his ass and I would be back next week and pull it out for 30%. He said I would never get it for that price. Guess I'll have to go back next week and make a deal with his boss.

Keep on keeping on.