I got this meme thing in an email, from an admirer of mine. So I guess that means it could be from anybody, because lets face it, you're all admirerers of me. I promised to post it for the NaBloPoMo thingy. I kept my promise. Without further ado. More about me.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? The local garbage collector.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The day I was born.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I like everything about me.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Bologna.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Two of my own plus two teenage girls locked in the basement.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell no. I'm an asshole.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Do priests like little boys?
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes I wear them as earrings.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Do they make a bungee cord for rhinos?
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Rice Krispies (they talk to me).
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? My shoes don't have strings, the jail kept them.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically or odoriferously?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Bluebell Banana Pudding.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Whether they're carrying a gun or not.
15. RED OR PINK? Pink. Pussy pink to be precise.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? You're kidding right? I'm perfect.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Your mama.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Are they supposed to?
19. WHAT COLOUR TROUSERS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? None. I'm butt nekkid.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Your mama and she liked it.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Your mama's squeals of delight.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Caucasian.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Anise Anise.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Some 976 phone girl.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Probably. I know I would do dirty things to her.
26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Are you ready for some football?
27. HAIR COLOUR? Bald.
28. EYE COLOUR? You haven't been paying attention.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS/GLASSES? Only when I'm in disguise.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Chicken Paprikash.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Aren't they the same?
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Real Swingers Stories 2: Phuckin In Phoenix. I like watching me.
33. WHAT COLOR TOP ARE YOU WEARING? Fur and skin.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Are you talking about the twin strippers?
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hug my dick and kiss my balls.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Peach Cobbler A'La Mode with ice cream on top.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Huh?
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Double huh?
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? How To Arrest Proof Yourself.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I was not aware my mouse got a period.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV. LAST NIGHT? Jen. She was standing on it when she danced for me.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? The sound of lips wrapped around my lightning bolt.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I'm a Stoner all the way.
44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? About 12 inches. Home is where the hard-on is.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yep. I can lick a woman's belly button. From the inside.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? The greatest country in the world. TEXAS.
Keep on keeping on.