First Annual Shit I'm Thankful For Post

I tried all night to come up with things I'm thankful for. Man is that rough. Tossed and turned all night. I wanted to make this a humorous post, but I wasn't sure I good pull it off, so I decided to try the serious route. But before we get to that I wanted to talk about me a little more.

Around here Thanksgiving Day is referred to as Man Day. See I cook and clean and do laundry (as mentioned in the last post) all year long. After all I am the perfect man. But on Thanksgiving Day, I don't do shit. I get up when I want, lay on the couch and watch football all day and eat when it's ready, then I watch more football and eat again when I'm ready. See. Man Day. I'm the man and it's my day. So far today, I've gotten up, fed the kids, been to the store twice, put the turkey on and done three loads of laundry. I'm even missing the game to bring you this post. What the fuck happened to Man Day? Enough about me. Now my list of shit I'm thankful for, which is actually more about me.

Shit I'm Thankful For
1. The statute of limitations.
2. Finding a woman that could handle my massive manhood.
3. Porn.
4. Internet porn.
5. The Confederate flag (that one's for Nightmare).
6. Football on Man Day.
7. Fabric softener (what, I have sensitive skin).
8. Automatic dishwashers (I've got too much to do already).
9. My sense of humor (I am a funny mother fucker)
10. My blue eyes (you ladies can't deny, you know you got wet looking at them).
11. Coupons.
12. Short shorts are back.
13. Indoor plumbing.
14. Cinnabon Mocha Latte in a can (no more malls).
15. Fire starter logs (without them there would be no fire).
16. War driving (look it up).
17. This blog (without it I probably wouldn't be famous).
18. My life experiences (so y'all know what not to do).
19. The Dallas Fucking Cowboys.
20. Bluebell ice cream.
21. Y'all.

That's the top of my list, come back next year for more. Some things I'm truly thankful for are:
1. Jen
2. My boys
3. The U.S. Armed Forces
4. Porn

Keep on keeping on and HAPPY THANKSGIVING.