Friday, November 30, 2007

NaBloPoMo Number 30: The Offensive Post

OK. So I didn't spend all day writing this post like I said I was going to do. What I did was take the kids to school and then come back home and sleep most of the day. Then I got up and went to see T3 receive an award at school. They do it every month to reward the kids that do their best to live up to the schools liberal lets all hug and get along policies. This is his second time this year to win the award. T3 has my incredible good looks and astounding intelligence and his mommas good heart. He's also very sensitive, so emotional in fact sometimes I think he might be one of them queers, not that that's a bad thing. Trash Jr has my incredible good looks, uncommon strength, smart mouth, bad attitude and much like me the ladies take a shine to him. Nope he ain't one of them queers. Anyway enough of that, this post ain't about me and my boys. This post is all about offending people. If you take offense to anything I say in this post, then you're who I was aiming at.

Yesterday I went to the Summer Palace Chinese Buffet for lunch. They have a sign outside that announces the fact that they now offer defensive driving and you get a free meal with it. What the fuck do Chinese people know about driving? They're all wearing blinders in the fucking car. They don't see you. There's nothing defensive about their driving. In fact it's pretty offensive. "Come eat here. No MSG. Fix DUI. Summer Palace. You run over it we cook it."

Have you read about the British teacher in the Sudan. Seems a bunch of the towel heads want her shot because she let her class name a teddy bear Muhammad. It's an insult to their prophet or say they claim. Here's a better insult. There are no pictures of Muhammad so I'm betting he looks like the puckered asshole of a camel. Ooooooooo I just insulted Muhammad. I'm thinking some fucking ragheads wanna kill me now. If you're muslim and wish to kill me just email. We can set up a time to meet on Congress Avenue in Austin, Texas. Bring a gun. I'll make you famous.

Who's next? Oh yeah, the French. They stink. Need I say more. Let me put it in their terms. Le Fran├žais pue.

I want to talk about the Writers Guild of America. You know, the fuckers causing all the reruns. Get back to work. You get paid to write. When you write for a show and you turn the script over to the people that own the show, then your writing becomes their property They can do with it as they please. You got paid. It's not yours anymore. Just like if I build a house. Once I'm paid it's somebody else's house. I can't go back later and demand more money because they decided to rent it out. I don't want to hear about intelligent property either. Have you seen the shit coming out of Hollywood? I don't believe intelligent is the correct descriptive word.

Rodney King. Are you fucking kidding me? This fucking idiot gets his ass kicked by LAPD on video camera (which is like winning the bump and bruise lottery). He gets a $3,800,000.00 settlement and still manages to cause more trouble. You know what they say. You can take the thug out of the hood but you can't take the hood out of the thug. I'm not sure if this part was offensive to anyone but I hope so. Don't give me any shit about social status causing the way you act. With 3.8 million the fucker was in a whole new socioeconomic dimension. He acts the way he does becuase he is who he is.

Did anybody read this story. Some mexican trying to sneak into the U.S. ran across a boy that was involved in a car accident with his momma. She died. The fact that the ILLEGAL alien found the boy probably saved his live. The guy did the right thing and made a fire, found some food for the boy and sat with him all night. They were discovered by hunters the next day and rescued. The boy went to a hospital and the ILLEGAL alien was detained and promptly shipped back to Mexico. What he did was a good thing, but I'm glad they shipped his ass back. One thing has nothing to do with the other.

I don't think I've pissed off enough people yet. Oh here's a good one. Women. You're all fucking crazy. There's not a sane one among you. Bunch of fucking nut jobs. But there's still plenty of you that I would do dirty things to.

Liberals. Grow the fuck up. We're not all going to get along. The world is not a happy place and never will be. And you ain't getting my gun.

Welfare abusers. Grow the fuck up. The liberals don't have a clue. They're wrong for making you lazy and shiftless. Get a fucking job.

I know a good one. The police. You suck. You're only function is to generate revenue for the city or county you work for. Don't feed me that shit about making a difference. You don't solve crimes. you just convince criminals to rat themselves out. Serve and protect. My ass.

Firemen. You are not heroes. It is your job to run into burning buildings. Just like it's my job to build buildings. By those standards every time I go to work, I'm a fucking hero.

Black people. Quit whining about slavery. That was then this is now. Thanks to affirmative action you have it better than I do.

Yankees. The war was not about slavery, and when we took a break you marched through the South. Stealing, raping, killing, burning and destroying everything you could. That makes you better? Notice I said we took a break. I ain't heard no fat lady singing.

Fat people. Lay off the fucking carbs and quit wearing tight clothes. I include myself in this one, except I'm not offended.

The religious right. Go the fuck away. Nobody wants you telling them how to live. You're all wrong. Every religion out there is wrong about God. Except mine.

The homeless. Go rent a fucking place to live. And you fucking idiots that give these losers money. STOP. Every time you give a bum money you help keep him a bum. Don't give him money, then he has to work to buy his fucking crack and beer.

Now I've touched on race, religion, some jobs, some jobless, the northerners and a specific gender. I don't know that I've offended enough people or anyone at all. I hope I did.

Keep on keeping on.

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